Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hanni Pham tiptoes and stretches through the Burger Shot drive-thru window to hand a bag of double-bacon deluxe cheeseburgers to an asshole in a lifted pickup truck with a neon underglow. That was the last guy in the 30 car drive-thru pileup. The time on the cash register reads 5:39PM and Hanni needs the next 21 minutes to hurry the fuck up because she's anxiously staring at her best friend Yunjin waiting in the parking lot. The best part about Yunjin's secondhand 2004 Chevy Impala is that the word CHEATER is keyed onto the driver's side—clearly the work of the first owner's angry ex-lover. Yunjin loves to lie about how that got there.

Sometimes Yunjin flashes the high beams in Hanni's face to be funny, and Hanni mouths "KILL YOURSELF" every time, because she'll probably get fired if she makes a habit of flipping that annoying loser off when there's cameras watching.

The last three customers for the night come and go—a soccer mom in a minivan packed with indecisive kids, a gay BMW driver that thinks Hanni's Australian accent is funny, and a vegan foreigner curious about the bullet holes in the drive-thru menu display.

6PM on the dot, Hanni pops into the manager's office. Manager Leclerc can't be bothered to peel his eyes away from the bulky television sitting on his desk. The Formula 1 Australian Grand Prix takes precedence over whatever the hell Hanni needs anyways.

"Your shift is done?" Manager Leclerc asks, barely shifting his gaze and not bothering to turn down the volume on the TV.

If his gay sweater didn't tell you he was from Europe, his accent surely did. He's just a sweet little guy from Monaco. Other than a good burger, he liked watching Formula One and forcing the employees to take a photo of him with every Ferarri that comes to the drive-thru or parking lot. He also enjoys complaining about his gay situationship with his next door neighbour, Max.

Hanni nods. "Yeah, I'm going now, just wanted to say goodnight. Enjoy your race, I hope Ferarri wins or whatever, bye!"

Waving farewell with a sweet smile, Hanni grabs her iPhone 5 from the basket full of all the other employees' phones and she's out the door and in Yunjin's front seat. She discards her hair net and Burger Shot hat in the backseat.

"HEY FAGGOT! How was work today??" Yunjin shouts over the car radio. She crumples the foil wrapping of the taco she just devoured and shoves it into a space on the car door before she drives off.

"It was kinda shit. Customers were rude as fuck, bro. Wait, I'm pretty sure I sold a burger to a famous person today. Don't know who. Some guy with a big chain and a sick sports car. And also, we finally got new coworkers to replace the guys we lost last month. You remember how I told you about our fry cook going to prison for drowning our cashier in the deep fryer right?" Hanni tries not to laugh, but she's never told that story to anyone with a straight face except for her parents.

"Yeah!" Yunjin swallows a mouthful of red soda and puts it back in the cup holder. "Didn't he eat the body too? I remember you telling me."

"Oh my gosh, yes bro!" Hanni laughs. "By the way, I meant to ask. Can I actually get dressed at your place? I wanna borrow some clothes so I can look sexy tonight."

"You think my clothes are sexy?" Yunjin feels flattered and smiles. "Yeah, I don't mind. Also, do you have your ticket or do I have to swing by your apartment first? Fake ID as well?" Yunjin slows the car down to let a nightwalker with a fucked up leg cross the street.

Hanni nods, "Yeah, don't worry. They're both in my phone case. Also I really can't get dressed at my place 'cause my mom would bash my head in with a rock if she saw me dressed like a slut. Probably send me to Vietnam to work on a farm with my uncle or some shit, too."

Yunjin giggles.

After struggling to untangle the aux cord all conversation, Hanni finally puts some music on. Clarity by Zedd and Foxes plays at a comfortable volume. She sings along, soft and beautiful.

The traffic really needs to move up because Hanni's been avoiding eye contact with a vagrant that's staring her down from the sidewalk and it's mega uncomfortable. His shirt is white, covered in dirt and you can barely read out the large print in Impact font, LEGALIZE METH. He's holding a fat, dirty pigeon in his left hand and a beer bottle in his right.

On the side of a building, technicians in safety vests are taking down the Miley Cyrus breast cancer awareness campaign billboard.

"Duuude.." Yunjin groans. "Now I can't stare at Miley Cyrus' tits in traffic?! Los Santos actually fucking sucks. I hope the next 9/11 happens here and someone crashes a plane into that stupid fucking casino. What's it called again? The Diamond Casino and Resort?"

Hanni's zoned out. Way too busy trying to imagine three hours into the future, where she's front row in a shitty warehouse venue packed with every emo faggot in the city—because who else listens to heavy shoegaze anyways? She'll be right next to Yunjin and if God cares to answer any of Hanni's prayers then one of the girls in the band will tell her to come backstage after the show and rail her off the tracks. She just needs to live out her delusions of a one night stand with a hot musician or else she'll be 40 years old and miserable at a bar, talking to an old widow about how her late teens and 20s were a legit failure—if the regret doesn't drive her to suicide before then.

Two blocks down and still stuck in traffic, Hanni and Yunjin watch the drag queens on the sidewalk having a cigarette race. Yunjin has to turn down their music until the traffic light turns green because the Lady Gaga blaring from the gay club meshing with the car radio is way too overstimulating. Amused by the cigarette race, the traffic light changing goes unnoticed until the driver behind starts spamming his horn. He makes an angry overtake, not without flipping them off and yelling a slur.

The car dashes down to a lower city block, where all the buildings are grey and brown apartment complexes with black mould that has taken over most of the paint. But it's not all bad, a few blocks to the right you can see the apartment buildings thinning out for penthouses and blocky contemporary homes instead. And if you were to stand on the roof of Yunjin's shit apartment, you can gaze at all the neon nightclubs and bars on the surrounding blocks—and even better, just past them you'll see all the mansions in the hills, and the famous Vinewood sign! Hanni's apartment isn't far from here at all, it's only three blocks away and it's always going to take less time to walk there than drive.

Yunjin parks on the sidewalk and Hanni reaches the front door first, knocking until she hears the door handle rattling.

"HEY EUNCHAE!" Hanni daps up Yunjin's little sister, then Yunjin does the same.

Eunchae tells Hanni she smells like burgers and walks herself right back to her bedroom to resume gaming on her PlayStation 3.

Hong Eunchae became a part of the Huh family nine years ago. Back then, Yunjin and her parents lived in South Korea. Eunchae and Yunjin's mothers were best friends since childhood. On Christmas day in 2004, Eunchae's parents died in a car crash caused by a drunk trucker, who remains a free man today. Yunjin's mother couldn't bear the thought of her best friend's daughter going into the foster care system, so she made the best possible decision. Now, Eunchae gets to take her second chance at being a normal girl in the best city in America, Los Santos—where the crime rate is the only thing higher than the air pollution.

Hanni wasted no time getting into the shower and definitely didn't ask Yunjin for permission to use her razor to shave her entire body. Or maybe it belonged to Yunjin's mother. She had no clue but it did what she needed it to do. When Hanni's out the shower and all dried up, she's parading around Yunjin's room wearing her own underwear from the sleepover bag she keeps here year round. She's also piling up a bunch of Yunjin's clothes on the bed because she can't decide what outfit best fits tonight's scheme.

"Jesus Christ," Yunjin grumbles. "Dude, what exactly are you going for? You're fucking up my room. It's just a warehouse show, you don't need to look good unless you're trying to get free drugs. Or some dick. Or pussy. Whatever."

"Listen," Hanni stops in her tracks. "You know how we all were all like sixteen shaving our pussy for One Direction concerts? Yeah, that's me right now. I don't know if you've ever seen the vocalist for Sleepless in September but she's so fucking hot and she looks like she likes girls so if this goes according to plan I think she might notice me.."

"Okay first of all, who the fuck is WE?" Yunjin looks around the room for answers. There's none, but there are Taylor Swift posters and indie pop vinyls taped to the wall. "Um.. Okay.. Listen. You sound delusional but like, I get it. Lemme put your fit together, you'll look hotter than Hayley Williams, I promise. And explain to me who the fuck this girl is."

Chapter Text

"Fuck, Minji. What took you so long?"

Kim Minji doesn't waste time answering Kazuha and shoulders her way through the metal double doors and onto the stage. Her other three bandmates are busy connecting guitars to pedals and cables to amps and whatnot. There's no crowd yet, but they'll be here in 45 minutes. Minji's holding out a black Fender guitar by the neck and Sakura, on the ground fiddling with her pedalboard, gets up and takes it from her.

"Gee, thanks a lot. How much was the rent for this thing?" Sakura waits for an answer but doesn't look at Minji very long, she's already busy tuning the guitar.

"Umm.." Minji thinks. "It's only 30 dollars if we return it tomorrow morning. Honestly, the place didn't have any Fenders left for like, rent. But like, that one was just sitting by the counter next to a bunch of other second hand ones, so I was like, Hey! can't you just let me borrow that one? And he's like, No, no, that’s our second hand stock. And I'm like, Why not? And he couldn't really come up with a reason why it would matter too much so he just let me take it. Oh and also! I asked the guy how much it would cost to fix the jack socket on your guitar and he said it’s like 10 dollars so let’s fix it tomorrow as well.”

Sakura chuckles. "Damn, okay! You’re so helpful, Minji. Thank you so much, seriously. Now go warm up your voice, we're starting sound check in five minutes."

Tonight, Sleepless in September are playing their first show. After two weeks of saving up, the band was able to scrape together $370 to rent this place for two hours. It's a small brick warehouse hiding underneath a flyover intersection in La Mesa, a rusty neighbourhood tucked away in East Los Santos. Not much to do around here, it's all factories and warehouses. The type of place where there’s more semi-trucks on the streets than cars. Performing here was Winter's idea. It's not out of character for La Mesa anyways. In the last 20 years these retired warehouses have seen more car meets, poor people's weddings, stray bullets, raves, rap battles and punk shows than ever.

The stage wasn't anything pretty, or even a stage at all. It's just a rectangle separated from the rest of the concrete floor with tape. There's only the girls, their instruments, a stack of three big amps, bare minimum pedalboards for Chaewon and Sakura's guitars and two secondhand party speakers with the tripod legs. Sound check goes swimmingly, so they take a break until it's time for the show to start. Minji's really excited to sing tonight. The band's been driving their next door neighbour mad all week practising in the living room of their one bedroom apartment for five.

It's been almost two years since they all moved in together. Living hasn't been comfortable at all, but there's a certain romance and joy in living by the skin of your teeth. Minji loves that the five of them can literally do whatever they want to in this city. They go to the Los Santos river and ride their bikes drunk, or shoot empty Monster and Heineken cans off buckets. They jump over the barrier at the subway stations and travel for free. Sometimes they stay home and sleep all day. They buy cheap weed from their neighbour down the street. Maybe they'll go see the street races in South Los Santos and run for their lives whenever the cops show up. This weekend they might drive their old kidnapper van to the desert in Blaine County with nothing but a handful of cash. And not that they ever use the van for kidnapping, it's just an old white van with five seats and free space in the back. But who knows?

Just six years ago, Chaewon and Winter were graduating highschool in Seoul. They spent three years in the same class without bothering to befriend one another. There was really no reason to. But one day, Chaewon lost her iPod full of all her favourite songs she ripped off of YouTube. Winter found it on the ground somewhere and decided to pocket it. She knew it was Chaewon's, but not giving the iPod back was saving money. She always wanted one of those.

Winter liked indie rock, a couple of songs from My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, but it wasn't really like.. her thing specifically. But Chaewon's iPod was full of a whole new world of music and she couldn't believe she spent the first 18 years of her life without it. Slowdive, Deftones, Cocteau Twins, my bloody valentine, Jesus and the Mary Chain. Winter decided she had to work up the courage to return Chaewon's iPod, explain the whole stealing thing, then tell her about how much she loved the music on there and maybe gain a friend in return. And she did.

In 2009, Winter and Chaewon's 20th birthdays passed right by them and they were still working shitty minimum wage jobs. They were so miserable from how horribly mundane life was. Joy (the emotion, not the cake girl) only ever found them when Chaewon would bring her guitar to Winter's place and they’d sit in the garage just trying to make some music. Winter's dad was a failed musician, so his old drum kit was all hers. They couldn’t really record any of the music they made unfortunately, but Chaewon would write out her guitar tabs.

Chaewon's bakery job was still making her miserable. But her boss, Ms Kim, was a sweet lady nearing her 60s that loved to talk. Her stories were entertaining enough to make baking and dusting sugar on donuts for 8 hours a day interesting. Her boss would mention her granddaughter every now and then, asking Chaewon to befriend her and whatnot. But Chaewon was like 20 and couldn't be bothered talking to a 16 year old. Chaewon politely declined every time. A random request from Ms Kim in early December of that year: Can you come with me to my granddaughter's high school Christmas concert? Chaewon thinks, why the fuck not? There's probably free catering.

Some days after, Chaewon was stuffing her face full of bulgogi and sitting next to Ms. Kim at Hanlim Arts High School's Christmas concert. Ms Kim slapped Chaewon’s lap excitedly when her granddaughter appeared on stage. She's wearing.. a Christmas tree costume? The girl stepped up to the lonely microphone and Chaewon didn't believe her ears. This 16 year old dressed up as a Christmas tree has one of the prettiest vocal tones she’s ever heard and she's wasting it singing Silent Night in English for a bunch of parents who weren’t even paying attention. This is so upsetting. She should be singing a Radiohead song instead. Chaewon had to capitalise off of this or she'd be angry one day when she wakes up to SM Entertainment giving that girl a jaw shave and adding her to Girls' Generation.

Two Decembers later, Christmas tree girl, who they now know as Minji, is part of the team. The band is kind of getting good.. They've recorded a couple demos with Minji's laptop. But this hobby isn't getting them anywhere. Minji's going to college soon and Chaewon still bakes bread for 8 hours a day and Winter's parents are trying to kick her out because she's too old to still be under their roof.

"Minji, do you want to go to university at all?" Chaewon asked sincerely.

Minji shook her head, No. "I'd love to keep making music together, but we won't go anywhere unless we audition for an idol agency and debut in a girl group. And we can’t dance for shit.”

"Yeah.." Winter agreed. So did Chaewon.

Winter sighed. "Guys, my dad doesn't want me here anymore. I have to move out soon. We can't keep using this garage forever. I think we have to call this whole thing quits."

"Minji, isn't your family covering your tuition when you go to uni?" Chaewon asked, an idea had begun to brew behind her eyes.

Minji was about to get cautious, but she was curious regardless.

"Well, I'm thinking we could all move to America. You know Los Santos? All the celebrities live there. We could try to get a record deal. A bassist and a second guitarist too." Chaewon was dead serious and she saw Minji and Winter staring at her like they were waiting for the joke to ring out so they could all laugh but it didn't happen.

Minji sat back down on the dirty green couch. "Are you fucking serious? You know we're all going to be homeless if that shit doesn't work out!" She did not believe what she heard from Chaewon. That delusional? At her big age?

Winter thought the idea rocked. If she was the one with the money she would have agreed and organised a suitcase to be out of the country by the morning. But she stayed quiet to hear what the other two had to say.

"Minji, do you really see yourself doing marketing for the rest of your life?" Chaewon chose her words carefully but she also needed to be as transparent as possible. "I'm wasting my life away in a bakery, Minjeong's damn near homeless and life is clearly pulling us in opposite directions—but we share a beautiful friendship and a common passion and a talent that cannot be ignored. We need to do something big. Minji, you're the only one that can help us. Please?"

Minji shook her head. Hell no. "Listen, I'll talk to you guys another time, okay? It’s late and I need time to think first. Good night, guys." and she was out of Winter's garage and on the streets finding her way home. She could not believe the selfish bullshit she heard from Chaewon. But honestly? It would be a lie to say the concept of freedom didn’t excite her more than anything. If the money was hers she would’ve agreed right away. But things get complicated when it involves her parents’ generosity. So she slept on the thought.

Childish. Irresponsible. Naive. Foolish. Careless. That’s exactly what Minji’s parents thought about their daughter when she told them she wanted to move to America to be not even a rockstar but to sing in a shoegaze dreampop band?! They didn’t even know what the hell any of that shit was. And when Minji played some Slowdive for her mom and dad, all she got in response was that Hall & Oates were better. Minji hated how pessimistic older people could be. The rejection and belittlement from her parents had only given her the determination to prove them wrong. As much as Minji’s parents couldn’t wrap their minds around their daughter’s bizarre plan, they found her ambition quite endearing. In the end, they decided to let Minji go. Fine by them. But, if she came back to Seoul because things went awry, she’d have to keep living with her parents and put herself in debt to pay off tuition. So this music thing needs to work out.

In June 2011, Minji, Chaewon and Winter landed in Los Santos. The first thing they did was move into a shitty apartment in El Burro Heights. No, not every neighbourhood with ‘Heights’ in the name is a suburban snobfest. Every house, wall, building and car in that place needs to be repainted. Nobody mows their lawn. There’s a horrible eyesore of a burnt down house on their street, which was honestly a helpful landmark so they never forget where home is. El Burro Heights had its own artistic charm as well—murals for dead gangbangers on every other wall.

Sakura and Kazuha became a part of the picture when the other three decided to attend a punk show in Vinewood. Couldn’t have been more than seventy people in the crowd. And the band sucked. Well, no. The entire band didn’t suck, but the vocalist, pushing 40, was just horribly underwhelming. The lyrics were a bunch of self-loathing cringe and you couldn’t convince anyone that someone other than a twelve year old had written them. Chaewon immediately decided to poach their bass and guitar—Kazuha and Sakura. The only convincing she had to do was show them a couple demos she recorded with Minji and Winter. They were sold.

Now, it’s a warm summer night in 2013 and Sleepless in September’s first show starts in 20 minutes.

Chapter Text

It’s 8PM and where the fuck is Danielle?! She told Hanni and Yunjin she’d be here by now. The show starts in an hour and the drive there shouldn’t take much longer than 30 minutes, but you should never risk leaving late to go anywhere in this city unless you like random gridlock and a bonus hour on your trip because people don’t know how to drive or take the subway.

Hanni can’t stop admiring Yunjin’s work in the mirror. She’s never felt like this much of a bad bitch before. Her white cropped tank top is skin tight and says GIRLS <3 MY SWAG. A cheetah print pushup bra peeks past the low neck of her top but you can see it through the thin fabric regardless. The denim shorts are low rise and the belt is studded. The side straps of her thong sit so deliciously on her hips and her boots are fluffy, reaching halfway to her knees. Still, she doesn’t want to be cold, so she’s got on an oversized black hoodie, unzipped. She really loves the way her hair looks too. Yunjin cut Hanni’s bangs and straightened her hair, so she’s serving Jabami Yumeko levels of cunt.

HONK HONK! Danielle’s finally outside in her dad’s SUV and she’s only three minutes late so there’s no need for anyone to worry. Hanni and Yunjin scramble their way out the apartment door, down the stairs and into Danielle’s backseat and Danielle thinks the scent of cheap perfume might suffocate her to death.

Danielle puts her arm behind the passenger seat like she’s going to reverse but she just wants to see what her friends are wearing. “Wow, ladies, you look amazing!! Hanni bestie you’re literally so smexy in that outfit! Never seen you look like that before! And Yunjin?? Since when did you have red hair? You look hawt!”

Hanni gets flustered and slaps Danielle’s arm playfully. “Thanks girl, OMG! You’re too kind.” and she giggles.

While Hanni, Yunjin and Danielle exchange all their new life updates since they last hung out three weeks ago, The Beach Boys plays on a low volume from the car radio and the drive is nice. The traffic in Vinewood isn’t that bad tonight. Hanni keeps feeling her pockets for her ticket, fake ID and phone.

Yunjin taps Danielle’s shoulder. “Yo Dani, we might call you to pick us up at Casey’s Diner after the show. ‘Cause like, I don’t know what me and Hanni’s plans for the night are yet. But we’ll see. I’ll call you regardless though.”

“Okay, no problem!” Danielle beams. “I don’t know where Casey’s Diner is, so you’ll have to show me.”

“It’s on the same street as the venue, like a few buildings before and you can’t miss it, it’s like right under the Cluckin’ Bell billboard with the huge dick-shaped chicken nuggets.” says Hanni.

Danielle isn’t from around these parts, and she’s got no business hanging out here either. She lives down in Vespucci, a fun beach town and tourist trap. Not much to do there other than shopping, surfing, purchasing fancy dispensary weed that induces psychosis and getting a nice tan. But it’s a good time once the sun’s out.

The SUV pulls into an alleyway that dips to a lot under the Olympic Freeway flyover, sitting at a lower elevation than the surrounding intersection. The warehouse is hard to miss—A grey brick box covered in punchy graffiti. There’s a couple cars in the small parking lot and people are buzzing around them, just smoking and chatting. A few others are in line to get their tickets ripped at the door. Hanni and Yunjin wait in the queue for not even a minute. The attendant collecting tickets and cash at the door is wearing one of the toughest all-black fits they’ve ever seen. Yunjin couldn’t help but ask about him. Apparently, this guy’s name is Destroy Lonely, but you can call him Lone and he’s friends with the band. He’s just here to help them out.

In the warehouse, the lighting is dark, pink and moody. When Hanni and Yunjin find their way to the front row, they’re surprised that there’s no actual stage to separate the audience from the band, just some tape on the ground. Hanni’s no regular at these underground shows, but she hopes there’s some sort of unspoken etiquette preventing the crowd from fucking with the artists.

“Dude..” Yunjin nudges Hanni lightly. “We could literally just kidnap that Minji girl when she walks out onstage. Just bash her right up the head with one of the guitars and drag her out.”

Hanni laughs and shoves Yunjin to the side. “The fuck? You’re actually a sicko, you’re going to jail someday. And when it happens, I have to be the one to visit your sorry ass?”

Yunjin steps closer to Hanni again, the smile not leaving her face. “Okay bro, you’re actually such a hypocrite because if you weren’t afraid of not even going to jail, but like, you know, your mom actually beating your ass? You would’ve at least agreed with me.”

“Whatever Yunjin, actually go fuck yourse—OH MY GOD THEY’RE HERE!” Hanni is GAGGED. It’s Sleepless in September in the flesh and Minji’s smile is so sweet as her eyes search for faces in the crowd and her black skinny jeans and converse highs look so good and is that a Back To the Future shirt that she’s wearing?! Hanni loves that movie so fucking much and now that she knows she and Minji have that in common she’s feeling even more delusional than she’s ever been for the first year of this parasocial relationship.

Yunjin needs to squeeze Hanni’s wrist lightly and whisper to her, “Hey, they’re like 4 feet away so if you say any crazy shit they’re probably going to hear you so act normal and look pretty, got it?”

The band takes a minute to double check that all the equipment is still fine and Minji sits on one of the amps, waiting a bit awkwardly and drumming her fingers on her knees. Hanni just noticed Minji is the only shoegaze vocalist she knows that doesn’t play guitar and she finds it cute. When everything is ready, Minji steps up to the mic and Hanni swears they made eye contact.

“Goodnight, Los Santos. We’re Sleepless in September from South Korea and Japan.” Minji smiles when the crowd cheers and Hanni wants to light herself on fire and run into traffic because she’s never seen Minji’s smile anywhere other than her MySpace profile and oh my God she needs to take this moment with her wherever she goes forever so she pulls out her iPhone 5 and starts recording.

“Before we start, we’d just like to give a shoutout to our friend Destroy Lonely for helping us with the tickets and the lights and stuff. He’s even recording the show if you can see him standing on the side here,” Minji extends her arm to direct attention to the left of the stage and there he is, giving a thumbs up and keeping the camera steady.

Minji continues, “He’s got his own music thing going on too, he’s a sick rapper so if you’re into that stuff go check him out on SoundCloud, and if you aren’t, you probably have friends or family that are, so tell them about Destroy Lonely, okay? Remember the name.”

“And one last thing, we got an Amber alert before we got here, a little girl is missing in the area so make sure you guys help out and share it on your Facebook and Twitter and stuff after the show, okay?” Minji gestures OK with both of her hands and looks around to see if everyone paid attention.

Hanni wants to rip her heart out of her chest and throw it at Minji just because of the Amber alert thing. The last time Hanni got an Amber alert, it ruined her Flappy Bird high score and she got so angry that night she prayed to God that whoever the fuck was missing was never found. But Minji’s such a thoughtful girl and it’s making her emotional.

The show kicks off with a cover of Deftones’ Change (In the House of Flies) and Hanni knows the original will never hit the same way again. The crowd definitely knows this classic because they’re all singing along. When the guitar hits, it’s haunting, distorted and drowning in reverb. Sleepless in September’s soundscape is always ethereal, dreamy, psychedelic and hopelessly romantic. The type of music you could fall in love to, smoke to, dream to, hurt to, think to, cry to, die to.

Minji’s singing always finds a way to break Hanni’s heart. Her voice drowns between the guitars, because this is shoegaze, and it’s all too beautiful. Hanni wants to drop to her knees and weep. But she’ll try her best not to, because looking like a mess in front of Minji would embarrass her enough to explode into a steaming pile of flesh on the ground.

Four songs into the set, Hanni’s wondering how this whole seduction thing works. She’s been staring at Minji the entire time and looking beyond sexy, so what exactly does she have to do to make sure she ends up in a room with her by the end of the night? Should she throw her bra on stage or something? How do girls at concerts end up backstage with their favourite bands and become groupies?

“Lowkey.. Why the bassist kinda want me?” Yunjin asks Hanni discreetly. She gets elbowed in the ribs in return.

Hanni takes a break from eye-fucking Minji and focuses on the bassist, Kazuha, for a second. Wow, looks like she might actually be looking at Yunjin every now and then. But that girl could be straight, so who knows? And then Hanni starts to panic. What if Minji isn’t into women?! She’s never even considered the possibility and now she feels crazy for just assuming that she’s a lesbian. But Sleepless in September never uses gendered pronouns in any of their music, they just say ‘you’, even in their romantic songs, and to Hanni that’s usually the indicator of a closeted gay musician.

No matter the song, Minji keeps smiling. It’s just so obvious how happy she is to perform here tonight, and Hanni’s obsession sinks its teeth even deeper into her skin. She’s got an incredible soft spot for a passionate artist. Minji walks all over the stage during the show. Sometimes she’s in the middle with the mic stand, other times she’s pacing back and forth with the mic detached the same way people pace during a phone call. She even sat on one of the guitar amps for a song or two.

“Alright guys, before we play our last song, is it cool if we all take a group photo together?” Minji asks, smiling a bit nervously as if anyone would even say no. The crowd shouts in a unanimous “YEAH!” and Destroy Lonely gets his camera ready. Minji, Chaewon, Sakura, Kazuha and Winter gather at the front row and they all crouch to avoid blocking anyone’s face. Destroy Lonely climbs on one of the guitar amps and the band poses, all making peace signs or hearts and smiling.

Hanni almost vomited. When Minji stepped closer in her direction, it was game over. Seeing Minji’s nose up close was the closest she’d ever come to knowing God. And now Minji is crouching for a photo right between her and Yunjin and Hanni wants to touch her hair so badly. She could if she wanted to. But using all the self-restraint in her body, she decides against it. Instead, she takes her hand and makes a little peace sign behind Minji’s head. Hanni really hopes her makeshift devil horns are visible in the photo, she hopes Minji smiles when she sees it.

After the quick photo session, the show ends with Hanni’s favourite song, girls like you end up buried in parts and the walk to Casey’s Diner hurts Hanni’s chest more and more with every step. She left her heart on the floor in that warehouse. Yunjin talks about how the band was so much better than she expected, how the bassist was really hot and how she should’ve asked Destroy Lonely for his number, but Hanni doesn’t give a shit. She just hates herself right now. What could she have done differently to make Minji notice her? Maybe Minji just likes boys. Maybe Hanni should dive in the way of the semi truck that’s about to drive past. At least that’s what she thinks she deserves for ruining her own life. Now she’s going to be miserable until she’s dead.

Chapter Text

Casey’s Diner is a place that feeds tired people. Nobody comes here because they want a burger done right, or because the ambience is nice. People eat here because it’s on the way home and it’s cheap. Hanni and Yunjin have been listening to the staff arguing in the kitchen and they’d really love to know the tea, but they can’t understand Spanish. The diner was almost empty except for a few workers in hazard vests, from factories and shipping docks, having dinner for breakfast before their graveyard shifts.

Hanni ate her fries in silence. She hasn’t dug into her burger yet. She’s still rewatching the videos she took of Minji at the show, much like a soldier opening a locket during trench warfare. This night needs to not end. Hanni can’t go home this soon. If she sleeps in her own bed tonight she’ll probably wake up crying and grabbing at the air for Minji. Then she’ll go right back to bed and hope things will be different in the morning.

Hanni asks, “Yunjin, why’d you even let Danielle drive us here if all we were gonna do after the show was eat dinner? It’s barely quarter past ten, can’t we hit the club or something before we go home? ‘Cause otherwise this whole thing is just a waste.”

Yunjin shakes her head no. “Listen, Danielle can’t be out that late and I can’t either. I gotta take Eunchae to school in the morning, so I’m just gonna tell her to come pick us up.”

Listening to Yunjin’s phone call with Danielle made Hanni so irritated. She felt like Yunjin was a traitor, a quitter. How hard is it to say, fuck it, let’s go clubbing and then just fucking go? Eunchae has legs, she can walk to school herself or take a taxi! 

Hanni grabs Yunjin’s phone and puts it to her own ear, “Danielle, can you forget about coming to get us and I’ll pay you likeeee, fifty dollars to take Eunchae to school for Yunjin tomorrow? Pleaaaase? I just wanna go clubbing in Vinewood, I’m literally so fucking upset. Like, getting vodka drunk on the dance floor could fix me. Please, bro. Pleaaaase? I Need Your Love by Calvin Harris is blowing up right now and you know I fucking love that song, pleaseee. Like, they’ll probably be playing it at all the clubs. Please bro. Please?”

Hanni’s offer was refused. Now Danielle’s en route and she isn’t happy. She keeps her eyes glued to her phone, if she focuses on Subway Surfers rather than the thought of bashing her head into the tile floor until she passes out, then she might just beat her high score.

A vehicle—a truck, or maybe it’s a van, with the high beams on, pulls up to the parking spot in front of the window where Hanni and Yunjin are sitting and instantly Hanni’s night is tenfold worse. At first, they thought it was Danielle, and in that case they would’ve excused it because they know she’s a sweetheart and would’ve never done that to anyone on purpose. But whoever’s behind the wheel of this vehicle? Needs to be locked in a jail cell and hit with a steel pipe for three consecutive hours.

“Bro, what the hell? Is this guy trying to make us fucking blind?” Hanni, short, infuriated, stands up and squints to see who’s driving. She can’t see shit.

Yunjin was being lazy and holding in her pee for the past few minutes, because using a public restroom anywhere in this city is worse than being in the military, but now she’d rather get up and go than lose her eyesight. So, she leaves Hanni at the table and finds the restroom.

The engine finally shuts off and the driver walks past the window, head straight, so Hanni leans closer to the glass and flips them off. That fucker. The second person walking behind catches Hanni in the corner of their eye, turns to face her and laughs so hard that you could hear it from inside the restaurant. Oh God, was that a woman? Embarrassed, Hanni immediately turns away before she can see their face. All she can think about is how she should’ve jumped in front of that semi truck when she had the chance ten minutes ago. Now, the bell on the door is jingling and she’s probably gonna have to talk to these people. Fuck.

Hanni decides she’ll pretend she’s doing something on her phone, so she opens the text from Eunchae she left on delivered all week. Eunchae sent her Death Note yaoi fanart. Nice. Hanni saves it to her camera roll. But footsteps are drawing closer and Hanni doesn’t know if she can ignore them anymore. Someone slides into the booth and sits right where Yunjin was before she went to piss.

Hanni nervously looks up and—

Kim Minji says, “Hey, I’m sorry about the headlights. Our van is kind of.. it doesn’t work properly.”

“What the fuck?” Hanni asks, eyes wide.

“Wait, I remember you! You were at our show today!” Minji smiles so sweetly, with lots of gum and a squint in her kind eyes. Hanni digs her nails into her own thigh beneath the table because she needs to restrain herself from screaming and rolling on the ground.

Hanni quickly builds up the strength to act normal and smiles back, “Yeah! I came with my bestie! She’s in the restroom right now, but she’ll be out in a minute.”

Minji looks like she’s thinking about something for a moment, gasps and points up with one finger. “Ah! Your accent, are you Australian? What’s your name? I’m Minji!” And she smiles at Hanni, waiting for an answer.

Hanni already knew that. She also knows Minji turned 20 two months ago in May, and that she’s been listening to Stay With Me by Miki Matsubara all week. And that her grandma calls her on Skype a lot, but she can’t really work the computer. She knows Minji doesn’t read books that aren’t Korean or Japanese and she picks out the veggies from her food and gives them to Chaewon. And that she’s been trying to save up money to do Sailor Moon cosplay with Sakura and Kazuha. God, would Hanni even have a will to live if she couldn’t scroll through Minji’s social media accounts and read everything she felt the need to share with the world?

Well, Hanni introduces herself to Minji. Her name’s Hanni, she’s turning 20 in October, she was born in Melbourne, moved to Los Santos when she was fourteen and she discovered Sleepless in September online and she really loves their music.

The waitress interrupts the conversation by placing Hanni’s beer on the table and Minji raises her eyebrows, eyes locked on the drink. Hanni nods a small thank you, and the waitress returns to the kitchen.

“You’re nineteen, did the waitress not ask for ID?” Minji asks.

“Well, I keep a fake ID on me anyways but no, she didn’t give a shit.” Hanni laughs inwardly but she’s actually trying not to cry or vomit all over herself because why the fuck is Kim Minji talking to her right now? Has God absolved her of sin? Is this good karma for something? Well, she won’t fuck up this second chance. She’s not leaving this diner without Minji’s phone number because when she looks over at the bar counter next to where Kazuha’s ordering food she can see her future self sitting there next to an old woman and crying because Minji’s on the same TV where they usually play Dragon Ball Z reruns, she’s super famous and rich and sexier and married to a supermodel and Hanni didn’t take the chance of seizing Kim Minji before anyone knew who she was and in that case, she should kill herself.

Hanni sees red in the corner of her eye. There’s Yunjin and her wild hair coming from the bathroom and fixing the waist of her panties as she walks to the table. Minji turns her head to Yunjin as well, then looks back at Hanni.

“Um, crazy to see YOU of all people in my seat!” Yunjin’s gasp is more like a big smile, and rather than scooting around, Minji gets up and gives her the entire seat back.

Yunjin wanted to tell Minji how much she enjoyed the show, subtly play wingman for Hanni and maybe press for a few questions about the band, but Kazuha interrupts by handing Minji the bill for five orders of burgers with fries and soda.

“Bro, everything in this country is so expensive.” Minji frowns. “Do you wanna ask the girls if they want to dine in? Tell them we’ve got two fans from the show hanging out with us.” 

“Okay, I’ll go ask!” and Kazuha finds her way out the door and you can see her when she gets to the van, knocking on the window that rolls down super slowly and jittery, definitely with a manual hand crank. The conversation isn’t audible through the diner window.

Minji sits down next to Hanni this time and she’s still eyeing the beer. “So, where are you guys headed tonight? You going home after you’re done here?”

Hanni doesn’t answer. 

“Yeah,” Yunjin starts, “I got stuff to do in the morning, so our friend is on the way to take us home.” At first, Yunjin felt bad for Hanni, but now that Minji, through divine intervention, is sitting here at a table with them, Hanni shouldn’t have any complaints for the rest of the year.

“Oh,” Minji nods, “Well, the band and I were planning on spending the night out. We’re gonna buy some alcohol and drive out of the city. See where the road takes us. Drive back home in the morning.”

“Can I come too?!” Hanni immediately pleads. She’s all up in Minji’s face and batting her eyelashes like a child. Personally? Hanni doesn’t give a fuck if her parents never see her again. Does she really care if she ends up in a ditch or lost in the woods? No. She’s down for anything once Kim Minji is involved, and they WILL be getting drunk and nasty by any means necessary.

Minji doesn’t know how to hold eye contact with pretty girls. She avoids Hanni’s face by looking down at the hand on her thigh and she gulps. Hanni still hasn’t backed up so Minji's forced into slightly painful eye contact again. “Umm, I think? The girls probably wouldn’t mind.”

Hanni smiles and retreats to her own personal space. Bingo.

Yunjin really wants to know if Hanni is fucking crazy. Her protective bestie instincts are telling her to say something, but she’d also feel guilty forever if she caused Hanni to miss out on what she’s been dreaming of for so long. So she doesn’t say anything. She just thinks about how she’ll explain this to Hanni’s mother on the phone. Well, Minji did say they’d be back by morning, so she could probably get away by lying that Hanni’s at her place for the night.

Yunjin doesn’t get more time to think about covering for Hanni. The rest of the band comes through the door, talkative and loud. Kazuha and Chaewon decide to squeeze in with Yunjin on the seat made for two. Winter and Sakura grab other chairs and sit themselves nicely on the table’s end and the diner sounds more like a sports bar within three minutes because everyone’s telling stories and laughing.

Hanni ended up sharing the beer with Minji, and she was thinking of ways to get their straws mixed up. Yunjin got the entire band to follow her back on Instagram. She’ll definitely be thirst-trapping for whoever bites the bait first, because maybe Hanni was right, sometimes all you need in life is to hook up with hot people in bands. Chaewon told the story of how she scouted Minji at the Christmas concert. Kazuha and Sakura talked about the shitty punk band they were in a few years ago and their shoplifting era. Winter told everyone about how mean her parents were to her as a child. Hanni didn’t have much to share about herself to seem cool, but the band was way more honest and loserish than she expected, so she told them about the crazy ass customers she gets at Burger Shot in Vinewood, and of course, her coworker killing and cannibalising the other coworker.

Ting-a-ling!

Danielle pushes through the diner entrance and her eyes immediately find the laughter and conversation filling the room. She smiles when she notices Hanni sitting next to Kim Minji. No way, the bitch actually did it. Everyone's having fun, she wished she could stay. 

“Hi, sorry to interrupt! Goodnight everyone, I’m Danielle,” she smiles, “These two are coming home with me.” she gestures to Yunjin and Hanni with her arms stuck out in jazz hands like, ta-da! She steps back and giggles.

Danielle gets a bunch of Hellos and Nice-to-meet-yous from the band. Minji asks if she’s Australian as well, to which Danielle answers yes. She loves how friendly these girls are. When Kazuha and Chaewon get up from their seats to let Yunjin out, they dap up Danielle like she’s already their friend.

Hanni’s still glued in place and Danielle clears her throat. “Girl, are you gonna walk home?”

Hanni shakes her head no. “I’m gonna go out with them tonight!” she grins so wide it was almost scary.

Before Danielle thinks of a way to ask Hanni if she’s stupid without offending the people she just met, Yunjin speaks up.

“Yeah, they seem pretty chill, I think they’ll bring Hanni home in one piece.”

Sakura visibly shakes in her seat, restraining herself from making a joke about the One Piece anime. Kazuha looks at her and slaps her leg while suppressing a giggle.

“Come on, you can trust us!” Chaewon pleads. “Sakura’s a failed med student, she knows CPR. And she’s also our designated driver.”

Danielle sighs. She doesn’t feel like doing the thinking for Hanni or Yunjin right now. “Okay, does anyone here want to take my phone number in case something happens?”

All Hanni can think of right now is how much Danielle’s acting like her mom, but it doesn’t irk her the way it would if anyone else did that to her. 

“Guys, just go home. I’ll be fine, there’s nobody I trust more in this world than a female friend group, seriously. Shoo! You guys have things to do in the morning.” Hanni mindlessly scooted closer to Minji, like somebody was gonna take her away from her.

Well, Danielle isn’t gonna argue with that. Maybe it’ll be fine. And Hanni gives her a cold burger wrapped in foil as a consolation prize.

Watching Yunjin and Danielle walk out the door set things in stone for Hanni. Tonight is gonna be like cheerleader tryouts, and she’s gonna do anything she can to make Minji obsessed with her. She’s spent her teenage years bingeing Y/N fanfiction on Wattpad at 3AM during school nights, and that training isn’t gonna go to waste. Right now, she needs to mentally throw her hair up into a messy bun and get it together.

Chapter Text

“You should probably sit in the front with Sakura,” Minji tells Hanni in the parking space of Casey’s Diner.

“Why? You trying to get rid of me so soon?” Hanni half jokes and nudges Minji's shoulder.

“Huh? No it’s not like that, we took out the backseat to fit our band equipment, you’ll have to cram with three of us in the back there until we drop the stuff back at our place, so it might be uncomfy.” Minji answers and stretches her arms to prepare her body for being jammed against Winter’s drum kit all the way home.

Hanni’s gaze immediately bolts itself to Minji’s stomach, unsheathed from her Back To The Future t-shirt. She imagined dragging fingernails down Minji’s soft skin, and wondered how long the scratches would take to go away. The lack of a happy trail is surprising, but not disappointing. Entirely too soon, fun’s over and Minji’s pulling the bottom of her shirt down so it fits nicely again.

The ride to the house was probably as comfortable as being stuffed and smuggled through airport luggage. Hanni sat on the wheel cover next to Winter. Across from her is Minji on the other wheel cover and Kazuha on the van floor made of steel tread plate. They couldn’t so much as hold a conversation back there. If Sakura braked too suddenly or took a sharp corner, random parts of the drum kit or one of the guitar amps would try to crush them against the back of the front seats, and they’d start yelling like they were being killed. Maybe this would be less scary during the day. While the other two listened quietly to Chaewon and Sakura’s conversation about what they’re gonna waste money on when the band makes it big, Hanni and Minji played rock paper scissors, giggling and getting way too competitive.

After they passed the flyover, La Mesa’s rust was left behind for big lots of grass that were either dead or overgrown. Welcome to El Burro Heights. There’s so many small houses, some are unpainted brick boxes and others are wooden and falling apart. Sakura drove slowly on the street coming up to the house, because the road is so fucked up, full of potholes, and she isn’t trying to make anyone get an uppercut from a flying bass guitar. Some of the street lights don’t work anymore, but it’s okay, they can pretend the cracking walls in ugly graffiti go away at night.

Sakura parked the van alongside the pavement, a few feet ahead of a clutter of overflowing trash bins. The house was a tiny bungalow, green and wooden with a brown and bending tile roof. The roof literally looks like God beats the house with a large hammer when nobody’s home. The satellite dish should’ve fallen off by now. Surely the rent for this thing couldn’t be more than two pennies and a food stamp. The chain link fence surrounding the property is also bending, anyone could jump it if the top wasn’t lined with rusty razor wire. Twelve short steps connect the pavement to the front door and Minji already feels tired knowing she’ll have to make several trips up and down to help bring everything inside.

Hanni thought she’d wait in the van, so she slipped into the front passenger seat after Chaewon and Sakura got out to help the others unpack. She was sitting there scrubbing the radio for something good and Minji startled her by knocking on the window. Her hand slid around the door, searching for the window switch, but instead there was one of those cranks you gotta wind in a circle and Hanni can’t be bothered with doing all that. She decides to slowly push open the door instead. 

Huh? Hanni asks.

Minji places her hand on the roof of the van and leans closer, “I don’t want you out here by yourself, can you come inside the house for a bit?”

Hanni doesn’t mean to feel as thrilled as she does but she really can’t help it, Minji basically admitted to caring if she lives or dies. Minji is so soft and pretty under the orange street light dim, and Hanni doesn’t want to see her face anymore, her stomach hurts knowing she can’t just jump into her arms and kiss her the same way she does in her imagination.

She follows Minji up the stairs. Standing at the front door, she can see behind the houses across the street. There’s a small field of oil wells, the beams bob up and down like a walking horse’s head and she assumes it’s less creepy during the day. The transmission towers that run in a line from the end of the street all the way to the hills in the distance remind Hanni of the Eiffel tower and therefore Paris, not that she’s ever been, but she can’t imagine it being any more special than being here with Minji right now.

Inside the house was much tidier than Hanni expected. The place looked just as small as it did on the outside, it couldn’t have been more than five hundred square feet. The floor plan was quartered into four rooms—a kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom. Looks like the living room was repurposed for band practice and recording. A brown leather couch, various posters that were either of anime or musicians, and a computer setup were the only things that weren’t music equipment. The sore thumb was the van’s backseat tucked in a corner and the stuff the girls just hauled in, but they were already putting things back. Kazuha, Chaewon and Sakura’s guitars were placed nicely on a floor stand. Winter fixed her drum kit with Minji’s help and the other three were reconfiguring their whole sound rig, wires and amps and pedals and whatnot.

While the band was busy, Sakura didn’t want Hanni to feel bored and uncomfortable so she told her she could help herself to the fridge, or go in their bedroom and watch TV. Despite Hanni’s moral shortcomings involving Minji, she still felt like too much of a stranger to just waltz into their bedroom. She chose to grab a can of Monster Energy and sit on the couch. She tries to not stare at Minji working the entire time. There were random things in the room that seemed to already be in order that Minji would just walk up to and straighten or move somewhere more convenient, and Hanni realised that’s the reason why this house is so clean and put away. Minji’s a neat freak.

The last part of road trip prep was Kazuha and Minji struggling to carry the backseat from the living room and down to the van so they could fix it back in place. Kazuha was the one lifting backwards down the stairs while Minji held the other end. Thanks to Chaewon waiting by the back of the van and giving instructions like, Easy, One more step, and If you drop it I’m going to kill you both with a crowbar, the backseat makes it to the van unscathed. Winter and Sakura dealt with the final stretch of the work, which was screwing the seat back into the van’s floor.

Hanni leaned against the hood of the van, texting on her dying phone. She asked Yunjin to call her mother and lie that she was at her place for the night. Yunjin said she was way ahead of her, and that she honestly didn’t expect Hanni to even remember her family at home or anything like that. Hanni fucking loves Yunjin, she’s the reason she hasn’t been skinned alive and turned into a rug by her parents for all the shit she gets away with, like wasting the portion of her salary that doesn’t go towards rent on partying, food delivery, alcohol and shopping—which might be the second best thing in her life next to borderline cyberstalking Minji. 

“Hey.” Minji slides next to Hanni and pushes herself up to sit on the hood, and Hanni wishes she could follow suit, but she’s terribly vertically challenged. Their height difference makes Hanni’s lungs ache, knowing she’d have to tiptoe to kiss Minji.

“Wanna chill in the back with me for the drive? I got pillows and a blanket. You can play games on my 3DS too.” Minji offers. Hanni notices she’s wearing glasses now, and she almost forgot about them because Minji rarely ever wears them in her social media posts. Wow, cute! Hanni doesn’t think twice about saying yes.

They drove out the Senora Freeway, about two miles past the city limits. Nothing exists out here but the highway and mountains. For now, the ocean is visible on their right. The moon is full and beautiful and Hanni doesn’t get to enjoy it because she’s playing Mario Kart 7 on Minji’s 3DS, acting all cocky about how much of a gamer god she is. The music in the van is loud and Hanni doesn’t know what band is playing. She kinda rocks with the song, even if it’s much heavier than anything she would ever listen to. She’s too focused on impressing Minji with her gaming skills to ask about the music. The vocalist is screaming YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE. The girls in front can’t scream all heavy metal like Danny Worsnop but they’re still yelling the lyrics word for word and Hanni wonders if Minji would ever fuck her to this song if they were a thing.

To Minji, this Hanni girl is wonderful. She doesn’t really vibe with anybody other than her bandmates and Destroy Lonely, so making new friends isn’t as commonplace in her life as she’d like it to be. Well, she hopes Hanni thinks of her as a friend. There’s no way she already doesn’t. The way Hanni operates like they’ve known each other forever is disarming, she already feels like she can’t say no to anything she’ll ask. Not that Hanni has asked anything of her other than to come along for this trip, but she’s afraid of the soft spot she’s developing. Maybe she feels this way because Hanni’s so cute, so pretty, and seemingly unaware. It’s making Minji feel sick, she wonders if she has a boyfriend. Regardless, she delights in watching Hanni burn tyres as Princess Peach, and laughs and cheers her on. If Hanni crashes, she’ll just be like, not your fault, Yoshi has a better gaming chair , whatever that means.

There’s a stop they have to make before they get to where they’re going, it’s at the gas station and 24/7 convenience store. Hanni, her shadow Minji, and Chaewon are the lineup for this quick shopping trip. The basket fills up fast, and its contents are laid out on the conveyor belt, being scanned by an old lady that should be fired because she’s moving way too slow to deserve a salary exceeding 3 cents, or at least that’s what Hanni thinks, and maybe she needs to work on thinking nicer thoughts. Hanni didn’t notice when, but either Chaewon or Minji picked up a box of condoms and they’re scanned right before two large bottles of The Mount whiskey and Cherenkov vodka. The cashier has to get up and go in the back for the thing to remove the anti-theft lock off the bottles.

“Um, what’s with the condoms?” Hanni asks, eyes moving back and forth between her suspects.

Minji chuckles shyly and looks down at the floor but Hanni doesn’t catch it because Chaewon spoke up first.

“Well, you never know what could happen. Just in case. Some of us are quite.. social.”

Hanni can’t argue with that. Guess not everyone’s a loser virgin like herself. But then, a discomfort falls over her skin like water in the shower and she wants to bash her head into the wall. If Minji hooks up with some fucking guy she’ll literally kill somebody. It might be the guy, it might be Minji, it might be herself. She ignores the possibility and watches the cashier come back to unlock their alcohol. The rest of the items get cashed, which are: a dozen cans of Monster Energy, a carton of orange juice, a lighter, cigarettes, firecrackers, fireworks, a bunch of snacks and candies, black spray paint, a pack of red party cups and they paid an extra $3 to take a bag of ice from the freezer outside. The cashier tells them they’re beautiful girls and to not get into any trouble, Minji promises they won’t.

They hit the road again, the music is still heavy and loud. Hanni and Minji quit gaming because they have alcohol now and they’re the ones in the back keeping the cooler full of drinks company. Hanni didn’t chase her alcohol. Minji thought she was fucking crazy.

“Put that orange juice down, are you a pussy?”

Huh?! Minji asks Hanni, putting the drink back in the cooler with a pout.

Hanni moves on her knees closer to Minji, not fast because she’d fall over, and raises her cup for Minji to take. There’s a little over a shot of vodka in there. Minji looks at the drink and back at Hanni. With uncertainty, she leans her head back and opens her mouth for Hanni to pour. The fuck? Hanni thought she would’ve just taken the cup from her hand and drank it herself. Shakily, Hanni reaches to hold Minji’s jaw and pours. The drink goes down with a choke, and she trembles from the burn in her throat and the numbness in her skin. She doesn’t feel cold anymore.

“Aww, good job Minji!”

Hanni caught a certain vibe from that. She doesn’t know what it means exactly, but she can’t stop thinking about it. Why didn’t she just take the drink with her hand? Was that homoerotic? Is Minji a slut? Is Minji a BOTTOM? Is Hanni herself a pervert? Surely not. She’s never been known to act that type of way! Or so she thinks. Still, that rubbed her some type of way, like how a straight woman would feel if she saw her husband kissing another man.

“Yo, what’s going on back there?” Kazuha asks, she’s leaning over the backseat with Winter, both full of grin and curiosity.

Minji immediately gets embarrassed and she wants to shove Hanni and crawl away but she’s pinned to the backseat with Hanni’s knee still between her legs so she just sits there and acts chill. Hanni isn’t looking, so Minji reads the text on her crop top, over and over. Wow, maybe girls really do <3 her swag. Maybe she should read that one more time. Wow, that was so riveting.

Hanni doesn’t notice Minji having a staring contest with her boobs. She doesn’t feel embarrassed or care enough to move away from Minji, they weren’t doing anything weird anyways. “I’m trying to get your friend to stop being a bitch and take shots.”

Winter laughs and hiccups. “Minji doesn’t drink often, go easy on her! We don’t let her have alcohol like that, ‘cause she’s got a good voice and we kind of need her to take care of it.”

That’s true. Minji doesn’t say anything, she listens to Hanni talking to her friends about what sounds like her drinking and clubbing problem. She finally gets to breathe when Hanni moves away to dig around in the cooler. Kazuha and Winter go back to conversing with Chaewon and Sakura, and the back of the van is their own space again. Minji doesn’t know what’s going on in the front but she feels like they’re making fun of her.

A mile later, wherever the van pulls into is either falling apart or will fall apart soon, Hanni thinks. Are we in a ditch? She braces herself against the wheel cover while Sakura parks and cuts the engine, and now she needs to figure out where the hell they took her. She’s the first to get out of the van, and she hasn’t seen moonlight this bright in so long. And thankfully, this isn’t a ditch, it’s just sand. There’s a lot of shining water. Wait, she knows this place! Alamo Sea, definitely. So the gigantic mountain looming behind the other end of the lake is definitely Mount Chiliad. This is the same lake her dad comes to with his friends to go fishing and boating. She’s never been here but she’s seen it on his Facebook. Cool, but why are we here? And what’s going on in the van? Hanni pushes her face closer to the window and um.. why is everyone pulling their shirts off? Her face turns red, she hurriedly finds Minji still chilling in the back of the van.

“Are we skinny dipping?” Hanni asks. Please say yes, Minji , she prays. MINJI PLEASE SAY YES OH MY GOD.

“Uhh, they are. But I can’t swim,” Minji lies. “I’ll probably chill on the sand and watch you guys.”

That’s literally not true. Hanni remembers Minji’s Instagram post from 2011 where she’s in a swimming pool in Korea with her brother, and there’s also her mother’s Facebook post from 2007 showing Minji’s swimming class certificate. Why the fuck is she lying right now? Hanni can’t back down because there’s no way she’s being deprived of soggy Minji in underwear right now. She needs to be careful here, she can’t make it obvious that she knows Minji’s lying.

“You can’t swim? I’ll teach you. It’s not that hard. Or are you just saying no because your panties are ugly?” Hanni makes it obvious she’s just joking, and Minji laughs and shoves Hanni with barely any force.

“No way bro, I’m serious. Just go, the others are already in the water. I’ll light the fireworks and stuff.” Minji gets up and gestures for Hanni to go in the water.

Before Hanni walks in any more sand, she discards her fluffy boots in the back of the van and walks the shore barefoot with Minji who’s still in her Converse highs. She prays to not step on any broken glass bottles.

“I think you just wanna see my big ass. Why don’t you want me to keep you company? You’re so weird.” Hanni says, refusing to leave Minji’s side.

That wasn’t far from Minji’s truth at all but Hanni doesn’t need to know that right now.

“COME ON GUYS, WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE CLOTHES ON?!” Chaewon yells from the lake, and splashes water that barely touches them.

“BECAUSE MINJI CAN’T SWIM!” Hanni yells back. Minji laughs, but Hanni can’t sense the ten layers of nervousness wrapped around it. Chaewon, Winter, Sakura and Kazuha exchange faces that Hanni can’t really make out in the dark and the next thing she sees is Kazuha coming out of the water. Wow, Hanni can’t believe Kazuha’s midriff. This shit is insane. She’s not mentally cheating on Minji or anything but OMG? Her abs are so cool.. She should never wear a shirt again.

“Hey, Hanni. You know, I haven’t really gotten to talk to you all night. You remember my name right? Kazuha?” she smiles.

“Duh, I love all of you guys, I follow all your MySpace accounts.” Hanni replies.

Minji giggles. Literally wasn’t that funny but whatever. Maybe she’s still tipsy.

“Well, go in the water with Chaewon and Sakura. Let me deal with Minji.” Kazuha rests her hand on Hanni’s shoulder and holds eye contact and Hanni doesn’t really know what’s happening, but she feels like something bad’s gonna happen to her if she says no. Now she’s in the water and she’s formed an alliance with Sakura and Winter to absolutely bombard Chaewon by splashing her until she’s on the verge of drowning.

“Why aren’t you swimming with us?” Kazuha asks Minji, back at the van.

“Bro, my dick.” Minji deadpans.

Kazuha shrugs. “Tuck it?”

“While swimming?”

“Bro just get in the water with us, nobody gives a fuck.”

“But Hanni—”

“Literally none of her business. And if she has a problem with it she can walk home.” Kazuha looks 100% serious and Minji knows she means it.

“Okay, okay,” Minji still isn’t convinced but she appreciates Kazuha’s unwavering support.

“Also it’s literally dark as fuck and nobody’s gonna be staring at your crotch. I’m not gonna let you miss out on fun with the homies. Now strip, whore.”

“WHAT?!” Minji bursts out laughing. “Nah man you’re actually fucking weird, go back and swim, Chaewon is literally being killed.” She peeps past Kazuha’s face and smiles at Hanni screaming and laughing and having fun.

Before Kazuha goes back to play in the water, she opens all the van doors and turns the radio back on, high enough for it to still be loud when they’re all in the water. Hopefully the fishes like Kesha.

Chapter Text

Minji’s glasses, Back to the Future t-shirt, black skinny jeans, black Converse, black socks and studded belt from Hot Topic are in the back of the van in a pile. The dock on the lake’s edge is greying, the planks are misaligned, falling apart, barnacles are climbing its legs and Minji is running off of it to cannonball into the lake, in her black bra and—

“MINECRAFT BOXERS!” Winter yells. Everyone breaks down laughing, with crying eyes and weak arms hitting one another to calm down. Bro’s wearing Minecraft boxers, Chaewon says. Hanni and Sakura are grabbing each other's shoulders to catch their breath, and neither can see through their own tears. Hanni can’t wipe her eyes because the water is salty, it’s frustrating because all she wants to do is eat Minji’s half-naked body up with her eyes.

Minji’s beyond embarrassed, she isn’t even laughing along. If she was expecting anyone other than her four best friends to be seeing her in underwear tonight, she would’ve worn her Calvins. She takes a big breath and disappears under the inky water like an alligator. Barely a moment later, Winter is screaming and thrashing against the surface as Minji drags her to the lake bed.

“KIM MINJI!” everyone else but Hanni screams, like they’re scolding a cat for trying to eat from a fishbowl. When they both resurface, Winter’s choking up water and she’s so dizzy she feels like she’s falling upwards into the sky. Her eyes and nostrils sting, she forces one eye open and uses her burning vision to wade towards Minji and strangle her.

“Unnie, chill! I’m sorry!” Minji begs in Korean, prying the angry hands off her neck to restrain them at Winter’s side. Minji wraps her in a hug and to Winter, this feels too much like gentle parenting but it’s working. Winter’s got an upset look on her face, yet she isn’t protesting being held in Minji’s arms, getting gently swayed left and right and having sweet apologies whispered in her ear.

Hanni killed Winter a thousand times in her mind within the last minute. She can see Winter’s limbs and organs floating down a creek when she blinks. She wasn’t strong enough to stop staring at Minji embracing another woman and it felt like her skull was getting bashed in. Minji was making her sick. The way her lips move when she speaks, the way they curl up to show her gums when she laughs—she either needed to kiss her or hit her with a baseball bat full of nails until she stops moving. Hanni adored the way Minji’s smile was sometimes higher on one side, those smiles would always show her sharp canines. She wonders how much Minji’s bite hurts.

“I knew you didn’t want to get in the water because your underwear was ugly. I think it looks hot on you.” Hanni tells Minji. Her tone was so forcefully chill, Minji couldn’t tell if it was sarcasm or flirting.

Minji decides it’s flirting and blushes, pulling her face into her own shoulder and Hanni finds it so wonderfully vomit-inducing that her lungs immediately hurt and she needs to get rid of Minji to breathe again—she dashes water at Minji’s stupid gay face in rapid succession like she’s putting out a fire. Minji, are you a faggot, OMG?! Hanni screams in her mind. There’s laughter from the other girls behind and Hanni realises she's still killing Minji. She stops and Minji slowly unhides her face from behind her forearms.

“Um, rude!” Minji wipes her eyes and catches her breath. Hanni wonders why Minji didn’t fight back, since she’s the same person that tried to drown Winter a few minutes ago.

The next half hour comes fast, the Kesha playlist Kazuha left playing has already looped, and Sakura thinks they should do a piggyback race to the shore before they get out of the water. Just for the bright idea, Hanni promises herself if she ever gets rich she’ll wire 500 grand to Sakura’s bank account. The race lineup was Sakura carrying Chaewon, Kazuha carrying Winter and Minji carrying Hanni. Everyone lined up where the water was waist level, and they ran when Chaewon yelled GO! Kazuha won by a stretch and with ease. She even carried Winter bridal style back to the van so her feet wouldn’t get dirty in the sand. Showoff much? No, not really. That’s just Kazuha being herself, silly and strong. Winter was much more excited about winning and shouted that the others were suckers.

Hanni was scared that Minji might’ve felt her erratic heartbeat against her back when she held onto her. She only hoped that Minji appreciated her boobs jamming against her shoulder blades, because she definitely loved having Minji’s arms looped around her thighs. After Minji put Hanni down on the sand, they started walking back to the van to grab more alcohol and Minji saw that Hanni was wearing a thong. Minji power walked in front because she felt like God’s hand would come from the sky to strike her down if she stared, and Hanni assumed Minji was just excited to drink.

After everyone but Sakura got more alcohol in their system, they were running in the sand and setting off fireworks to pass time until their bodies were dry enough to put clothes on. Minji and Kazuha really wanted to shoot fireworks at one another, but Sakura went all mom mode and frustratedly explained to them that they’d end up in the hospital getting skin grafts that don’t match their skin tone.

Minji got tired of playing, she sat on a broken fishing boat overturned in the sand. She smiles at her friends laughing and dancing, and jolts at the pop of every firework and firecracker. She prays for a time when nights like this happen every day, when she and her friends won’t have to work so hard. Sometimes it’s hard to write songs that mean anything when the only life she has outside of music is a dead-end, mindless job—and that goes for them all. Hanni’s gaze found Minji’s and she gestured for her to come over and sit. Hanni drops the dried branch she was using to sword fight with Kazuha, and walks over with a mild stagger. She almost missed the edge of the boat when she sat down. Minji helps her sit straight, and Hanni laughs at the drunkenness of her body because she felt pretty sober in the head.

“Hey, can I tell you something?” Hanni spoke fluently, much to Minji’s surprise. She thought the girl was fucked up from the way she was moving.

“Yeah, go ahead.” Minji takes a sip from her cup and sets it down on the sand.

“Remember when you were like, embarrassed about your undies so you didn’t wanna swim? Minji, I fuck with you heavy.. I’m not somebody you should be trying to look cool for or impress. Actually, the outfit I wore tonight was just me trying to impress you at the show! Those aren’t even mine, they're Yunjin’s clothes. In a way, I deceived you. Girls don’t heart my swag, Minji. Girls see me in the club and they wonder if my mom dressed me. I’m sorry.. These are also Yunjin’s panties.” Hanni looks sincerely apologetic, yet she doesn’t think she’s drunk. She knows her sober self to be a nervous mess that apologises unnecessarily—but sober Hanni would never be this pathetic in Kim Minji’s face.

Minji can’t help but laugh at Hanni’s needless apology, so hard that her stomach aches. She pulls Hanni’s head onto her shoulder and holds her. “Hanni, girl.. you’re so fucking funny. You don’t have to say sorry for anything, and from now on, I heart your swag! Even if that means you shop at Forever 21 and wear Uggs.. Even if you’re secretly preppy. I don’t mind, I think you’re cool. I could take you shopping someday if you don’t like your style. Have you ever been to Hot Topic?”

“Uhhh..” Hanni thinks. “No, I shop at Binco.” Hanni smiles endlessly because she knows Minji can’t see her face.

“We can go together next week when I get paid! Deal?” Minji extends her pinky finger for Hanni to promise her. And she does.

“Wait..” Hanni thinks. “You have a job?” She completely glossed over the fact that Minji probably just asked her out on a date.

“Yeah, we’re all wagecucks, sadly. I work at a restaurant in Little Seoul. We don’t make enough from music to cover living expenses and other stuff. But maybe one day things could change.” Minji sounds hopeful, Hanni admires that.

Hanni felt disheartened. When she’d imagine the life of her favourite band, it was nothing like anything she learned tonight. She didn’t know the band lived together in the first place, and much less in a one bedroom shitshack. Hanni knew that Minji, Chaewon and Winter immigrated from South Korea, so it’d make sense if those three lived together; she thought Sakura and Kazuha would have their own place since they’ve been in Los Santos from birth—according to her Facebook stalking. It was obvious that the band’s music wasn't receiving the attention it deserves, but Hanni still thought they were living better lives. Damn.

“You work in Little Seoul? Isn’t that kind of far from home?” Hanni asks.

Minji shakes her head no, “It’s only a half hour taxi drive. There aren’t any decent jobs nearby, if I worked one I’d be pressing sheet metal in a factory all day.”

Hanni sighs, she knows it’s true. She hopes life will be kinder to Minji and her friends, they deserve it.

The drive from the lake to the Yellow Jack Inn was a short, straight cut through what was more of a graveyard for motels and trailer homes than a neighbourhood. Sakura never complained much, but after seeing the itching prostitutes on the street fronts of decrepit houses letting rednecks bargain meth for sex, she felt much more content with her own life. Things could always be worse. She carefully drove through the short dirt path to the parking lot so Minji and Hanni wouldn’t get brain damage from hitting their skulls against the inside of the van. She found a parking space among the dirt bikes and pickup trucks and cut the engine. The building reminded Sakura of home, it’s the same shade of green and falling apart just as much.

Hanni climbed out the back of the van, she felt like she was in Area 51. Before she turned to face the bar, all she saw across the street was desert and satellite dishes. Mistakenly, she thought she was at an establishment named PIẞWASSER (locally read as Pisswater) because the blinding Pißwasser Beer sign was larger than the neon YELLOW JACK INN on the flat roof. She forgot her hoodie in the van, and the cold midnight air against her stomach made her shiver. She wanted to run through the door for warmth, but the men smoking and laughing under the wide awning scared her way too much. They were so much older and hairier than what she’s used to at the nightclubs back in Vinewood. Her party was taking way too long to pile out of the van and through the door, so she quietly asked Minji to walk with her ahead of all the others.

Through the Yellow Jack Inn’s front door and second unnecessary door, the bar counter was the first greeting. Hanni and Minji might’ve been drunk, but not terribly, so they could handle a few more drinks before they reach the point of vomiting and passing out. The bartender and owner, Janet, was a thinning old woman with unsettling green eyes. Her hair was dyed red, cut short and styled like a young lesbian’s. Janet smiled wide, Hanni and Minji mistook her for a jovial woman. Hanni smiled back, and greeted the stranger like an old friend.

“Wow, it’s such a blessing to see something other than white trailer trash come through my door.” Janet’s country accent was thick, she smiled while wiping glasses dry and putting them on the shelf beside the large United States flag. “Say, you pretty girls even old enough to drink?”

Hanni nodded and fished the fake ID from the pocket of her shorts and placed it on the old scratched up oak counter. Janet checked the DOB and handed it back, then she looked at Minji, waiting. Minji’s ID is in the van, but she can’t legally drink ‘til next year.

“Fuck, I forgot my driver’s license at home,” Minji lies after she puts on a show of checking her pockets. Janet’s becoming impatient, she wants the sale regardless.

“Ah, forget about it, you definitely look older than your friend.” Janet tells Minji. “What can I serve you?”

Hanni wanted a vodka cocktail, Minji wanted tequila.

Chapter Text

After all of Janet’s other guests left, Minji and friends turned Yellow Jack Inn into their living room. None of the chairs were pushed in, all of their drinks were scattered on the rickety tables or spilled. The room reeked of cigarette smoke, even before Chaewon and Sakura lit up, the scent must’ve been seeping through the walls since the 1970s. Janet said nothing when she slipped away from behind the bar to flip the OPEN sign on the door and lock it, just for tonight. Back when her deceased father was the bartender and her only work here was wearing a miniskirt and serving burgers and beer to hillbillies, she learnt that men are never quite taught the concept of seeing and not touching. She could tell none of the girls were America-born from their speech and wondered what the hell they were doing out in the sticks. Janet loved a busy Friday night, but she’d never forgive herself if her usual trailer trash customers made trouble for these darling girls. A lost sale is better than witnessing a crime. Thank God the last few men were too drunk to see anything at all. If Janet catches these girls sober in the morning before they go, she’ll advise them to not come back to Sandy Shores without a gun.

Sakura paid Janet at the counter to rent all three rooms upstairs for the night, and she couldn't wait to see the catch of the cheap price. As long as it didn’t smell like piss or include bugs, she was fine with it. She woke up around noon yesterday, and she’d been drowning the urge to sleep with energy drinks. Now she’s taking shots, since she doesn’t have to drive until she gets up later in the morning. Everyone else in the band woke up around 7PM so the show wouldn’t have tuckered them out, but Sakura was immune to maintaining a degenerate sleep schedule. The clock on the wall claims it’s 2:14AM and she just wants everyone to go upstairs and sleep. Instead, she’s helping Chaewon’s drunk ass shoot pool. Sakura thought about Hanni as she watched her from the other end of the table, laughing at Minji’s clumsy arms guiding her in holding the cue stick. It’s heartwarming to see Minji finally making an actual friend in the city. She hopes Kazuha and Winter won’t tease her about it, but it’s highly unlikely. 

All of the laughter and tequila was starting to wear Minji out, but she was having way too much fun to call it a night. She was determined to lead Hanni in defeating Chaewon at their game. The competitive integrity was unclear, and the requirements for a win was nonsense. Yet nobody cared, it was too entertaining watching one another come closer and closer to breaking a finger from a flying 8 ball.

They all hated the old country music on the radio, but not enough to complain to Janet, who was singing along to the best of her ability. The current song was by a woman who must’ve died in the 90s, about having to spell out the word divorce letter by letter around her 4 year old son to spare him from heartbreak. Hanni feels like the music was something Danielle would enjoy, she laughs out loud at the thought. She wished her friends had come along, they would’ve had a great time.

“Hey, quit laughing and wrap your index and thumb like this or the stick’s gonna fall again,” Minji’s weighing down on Hanni’s shoulder and struggling to rearrange her inexperienced mess of fingers on the cue stick. Minji was definitely annoying and drunk but Hanni liked it that way. She was fucking things up on purpose so Minji could correct her, hold her waist, explain the same things over and over and touch her hands. 

“Minji I know, you told me! Just fucking watch. I got this shit. Fucking told you I’m pro,” Hanni tightens her grip and bashes the 8 ball across the velvet tabletop. 

Chaewon missed the return hit, she moved too fast after she reacted too late, her knuckle painfully grazed the ball and Hanni scored the point. They were playing air hockey on a pool table. Chaewon blames her defeat on Sakura, her guidance was more guesswork than technique and entirely unhelpful.

“HELL YEAH, I’M THE FUCKING GOAT!” Hanni triumphs and dashes into Minji’s arms, almost knocking her down. She stopped giving a fuck about four drinks ago and she’s painfully restraining herself from grabbing Minji and kissing her all over her drunk red face. 

Minji laughs and hugs Hanni tight, patting her back with a proud smile and telling her how good she is, like they just won the World Cup.

Kazuha clears her throat. “Alright gay people, step aside. It’s time for the real pros to teach you how to really play this shit.” 

“Facts.” Winter agrees and trips, but doesn’t fall, on her way to the table.

“Excuse me? You literally like girls.” Chaewon playfully shoves Kazuha while she was walking away with Sakura to give up their end of the table.

Kazuha shakes her head. “Nooo, not you bitch. I meant those two.” She points to the only obvious offenders.

Chaewon laughs and Minji gasps, but she still keeps Hanni in her embrace. She can’t even see how dumb Hanni looks, smiling into her t-shirt and breathing her scent. 

“Girls can’t hug without being gay anymore? Girls can’t hug? Is, is it so wrong to be full of love and warmth in this world? Is victory not worth celebrating, Nakamura Kazuha?” Minji asks, her tone is strong, her enunciation is wonky and she sounds like a shonen anime protagonist about to monologue.

Kazuha worries if it’s okay to out Minji as a lesbian in front of Hanni, but she figures it’s likely that Hanni’s the same. 

“You know what, Minji? I’ll let you figure the first part out on your own. Now move, and watch this beast ass gameplay.” Kazuha sasses and bumps Minji with her hip, and Minji holds Hanni to steady herself while they walk away.

The game ended early because Kazuha sent the 8 ball straight into Winter’s finger and now she's sitting down holding it in a glass of ice and grumbling, trying to convince everyone it’s broken. It’s not.

Looks like fun’s over. Now that everyone wasn’t making so much noise, Janet was trying to make conversation with her beautiful guests. Hanni wasn’t feeling very friendly anymore. She only wanted to hear Minji and Minji only, not Janet talking about how her father died of a meth overdose sitting at the same table as Kazuha. Other than Hanni, everyone else was enjoying the stories. They kept asking more questions and laughing at things they should not, like how the two bras on the antlers of the taxidermy deer head in the corner belonged to a stripper from Los Santos that was killed in 1997. 

“Minjiii, I wanna go upstairsss, I’m getting burnt out.” Hanni leaned to her ear and spoke behind her hand, barely a whisper.

Hm? Minji asks, and Hanni repeats herself, just as slow as the first time.

“Oh, me too. I’ll be back and then we can walk up together, okay? I’ll come back to get you. Promise.” Minji stands up, pulls her shirt down and pats Hanni’s head. Then she leaves her to squeal and blush in her seat.

Minji asked Sakura for the keys to the van and one of the rooms. Sakura obliged but did not let Minji walk to the van alone, just in case she’d drunkenly mistake a coyote for a dog and get mauled in the parking lot. Sakura opened the back of the van and Minji grabbed her blanket, pillows and something else Sakura couldn't see. She quickly pocketed it, then folded the blanket half-assedly so she could tuck it under her arm and carry the two pillows with ease. She didn’t want to pass through the two doors at the entrance with her hands full, so Sakura went back inside to call Hanni.

The rooms were up the stairs outside, behind the building. Minji and Hanni’s trip up the stairs was a disaster. One step today, another step tomorrow. Minji felt like she was going to tumble backwards and break her bones the entire time. Hanni walked behind and held onto Minji’s hips rather than the stair rail, which was sensible because the rail looked like it was going to break off. But Hanni was not sensible, she just wanted to touch Minji.

At the top of the stairs, Minji stopped to breathe. She wished she had a South Korean flag to stick on the top step. That couldn’t have been much different from climbing Mount Fuji or Everest. 

“Hanni, can you get the key? It’s in my right pocket.” Minji asks.

“NO, the other one!”

“Hanni, that’s not my pocket!”

Hanni found the key. She would’ve loved to feel around more, but all good things come to an end, she supposes. The key didn’t work in the first door. Or the second. Or the third.

“Minjiii, the key isn’t, uh, working.” Hanni frowns. It’s too cold outside for setbacks like this, her tummy’s already covered in goosebumps.

Minji makes a face like she’s struggling to see, even with her glasses on. “What? Let me see them.”

Hanni steps closer and dangles the key in her face.

“Fuck, that’s the key for the, the van. It’s still in my pocket, it’s flat, the key’s flat, it’s not on a ring.” Minji holds the pillows tighter and braces herself for Hanni’s adventurous hands to violate her skinny jeans again. She’s so scared of getting a boner, she would rather all the blood in her body rush to her brain and pop a vessel so she dies of a stroke instead of embarrassment. 

Hanni slips her hand into the same pocket the van key was in and she still can’t feel the other key. She looks up at Minji and giggles at how scared she looks. What for? Minji gulps and looks to the side, avoiding her eyes.

“Hey,” Hanni holds Minji’s cheek and turns her face to her own. “Relax, I’m not gonna diddle you. Unless you want me to.”

Minji scoffs, then finds herself laughing quietly. Unless you want me to? Crazy.

“Yay, I found it!” Hanni fishes the correct key out and shoves the one for the van down the same pocket. The key works on the third door.

Hanni fumbles to the left of the door frame for a light switch. Then there was light. The room was stuffy, but the scent of cheap air freshener lingered. Seems like someone actually cleans this place. Minji was amazed, this’ll be the biggest room she’s slept in since Korea, and rather than an uncomfortable couch or tile floor, she’ll get a whole half of a bed to herself instead of a mere fifth. She tosses the pillows over the cheap provided ones and spreads the blanket over the thin white sheets that looked much like stolen hospital bedding. Hanni walks over to the right side of the bed parallel to the windows and something cracks under her shoes. What the fuck? she curses. Minji steps over and gasps when she sees a broken heroin needle. She kicks it under the bed. Problem solved. They look at each other and laugh.

Hanni finds the air conditioner remote and she has to slap it a few times before it does anything, but it works. Minji pulls the blinds open so the sunrise will wake them. Then the lights turn off and moonlight dims the room.

Minji kicked her Converse off and pushed them in a corner, removed her studded belt, coiled it and left it on the nightstand covered in stains from cold drinks. Then she sat down and laid back against the bedhead, watching Hanni get rid of her bra without taking her shirt off. She smiles a bit, remembering the joke Hanni made earlier about girls not loving her swag. Minji wonders why Hanni’s so comfortable taking clothes off around her. Maybe all the shame was forgotten by the lake, or maybe it’s the alcohol. Hanni got rid of her denim shorts too. She crawled on the bed and sat on her knees next to Minji.

“You gonna sleep like that? In skinny jeans, Minji?” Hanni asks. “Your pockets are full, like it’s got keys and stuff, it’s gonna hurt in the morning if you sleep on your side.”

Minji whines, “I’m too tired to take ‘em off.” The most effort she put in was pulling the waistband down, barely past where her boxers end.

“The keys are gonna hurt you, Minji.” Hanni pouts and reaches for her pockets, Minji’s arm snaps and grabs her wrist.

“You’ve had enough fun with my pants today, let me handle it.” Minji says and she doesn’t realise she’s holding too tight until she sees Hanni flinching, despite showing no resistance. She loosens her grip but doesn’t let go. 

Minji can’t believe how small Hanni’s hands are in hers. She felt bad, hopefully it didn’t hurt much. She wanted to kiss it better.

“I didn’t have that much fun with your pants, actually,” Hanni giggles and leans closer. “If I did, you would’ve let me take them off.” The last part is spoken softly, but it rang loud in Minji’s ears like tinnitus.

“Uh, what’s that supposed to mean?” Minji’s heart flutters at the implications, she hopes she’s not thinking of it the wrong way.

Hanni’s still giggling, “It means whatever you want it to mean. You gonna let me help you out of those jeans or are you gonna sleep like that?” Her words came out in a drunken rhythm, slow and earnest.

“Fine, whatever.” Minji surrenders. She watches Hanni wrap her fingers in her belt loops and pull the waistband down, just past her knees, and shivers at the chill of the room on her thighs that she couldn’t feel on her face. Her nose and lips tingle hot and almost numb, the same feeling that follows a strong shot of vodka. Hanni stretched to shimmy the rest of the pants down to her ankles, then shoved it to the floor.

Hanni stays at Minji’s side, looking at her like, what do we do now?

Minji reaches for Hanni’s wrist, gently this time. “Is this the one I hurt? I’m sorry. Didn’t mean it, didn’t have a problem with you messing around with my pants either, you were just helping. I was worried I was getting the wrong idea, I don’t wanna make problems.” She plants a soft kiss with barely parted lips to her wrist and Hanni can’t believe her eyes. She didn’t know if to cry from joy or cream her panties because Minji’s lips are on her skin.

“What? What problems?” Hanni asks, she doesn’t know what’s happening but she’ll be upset as hell if it stops. She withdrew her hand from Minji’s soft grasp and reached for her cheek, holding it almost the same way she did when she poured alcohol down her throat in the back of the van.

Minji smiled and took Hanni’s hand again, sandwiching it with her face and melting into the touch. She loved the affection, for now she could pretend they’re something other than strangers in a drunk fling; a romantic delusion. Her sigh is wishful. “I just, I felt like you wanted to do something in this bed other than just.. going to sleep. Maybe it’s just me. I’m sorry, shouldn’t have said anything.”

There’s no question about it. Hanni’s pretty sure she knows exactly what Minji means, and it’s the most gratifying feeling ever . All of her social media stalking, scheming, daydreaming and most importantly, bravery, has led her to this moment. She’s gonna fuck Kim Minji as intended, and they might even be friends afterwards! She bares a sick smile. Normal people probably only feel this violently ecstatic when they read Ivy League college acceptance letters or winning lottery tickets.

A thousand times before Hanni has lived this. The dingy room doesn’t even disappoint her, she’s already taken Minji in a dark alley and even more unclassy locations in her dreams. Between this room with peeling paint and a luxury suite in the Chateau Marmont, there would be no difference. She just wants Minji regardless, and the surrounding details are wildly irrelevant.

Hanni shifts her hand from Minji’s cheek to her lips, barely pulling down on her bottom lip with her thumb. Minji’s jaw slacks, inviting Hanni’s fingers to her teeth and tongue and pleading kisses. The eye contact feels like they’re both burning to the wick, but Hanni doesn’t really know where to go from here—she’s dumbly letting Minji suck on her index and middle finger and trying not to push them further and choke her for self indulgent reasons.

Is Kim Minji this much of an easy lover? Does she do this with every girl that remains in her company past midnight or am I special? Hanni’s brain is fizzling trying to figure that out.

Minji takes Hanni’s fingers from her mouth, she’s still holding her wrist with both hands. The spit running down Hanni’s fingers and palm feels cold and gross and she loves it.

Minji puts both of her hands to the mattress and uses her arms to fix her posture straight against the bedhead, and suddenly she’s looking all coy. “I have to tell you something before we, um. Y’know. Before we fuck,” she says.

WAIT, WE’RE GONNA FUCK? FOR REAL? YAY! Hanni’s brain is screaming and burning and doing victory laps around her skull. She quickly nods. If she had a tail it’d be wagging behind her, she looks like a begging dog waiting for the rest of the sentence. “Yeah? What?” She holds onto Minji’s thigh and leans closer to her face again. She’s so tempted to take a bite out of her pretty nose.

Minji begins to confess, “I, I have um. A dick. If you don’t mind—”

Well, that’s certainly a surprise to Hanni, but it’s not a big deal. Lots of other girls have dicks, does anyone even care? It’s 2013! Speaking of big deals, she hopes it’s big when it’s hard, because she didn’t even notice.

Hanni climbs over Minji’s lap and takes off her glasses, setting them aside on the sheets. She holds both sides of Minji’s neck and smooches all over her pretty face like she’s a baby, and Minji’s extremely taken aback by how soft and sweet she was.

“It’s okay, doesn’t change a thing. You’re so fucking cute, Minji. You got a condom? There’s some in the van.” Hanni bites her lip and Minji nods yes.

Hanni starts to suspect that Minji was the one that picked up the box of condoms and that she had plans of fucking her since she sat at her table in Casey’s Diner—she instantly feels a trillion times better about herself and her life. Even if Minji didn’t buy condoms, she would still let her hit raw and cum inside and if morning after pills don’t work she’ll just throw herself down some stairs or perform DIY abortion with a clothing hanger. Hanni’s upset that she has to tumble off of Minji to search those stupid fucking skinny jeans again, but she finds the condom and hands it over. Minji sets it aside on the sheets and catches Hanni by the waist when she straddles her lap again.

The first kisses are numbing and taste like nothing but warm liquor. Hanni’s barely letting Minji get a chance, she’s got a hand on her throat and shoving tongue in her mouth like she’s just some whore. Minji can’t keep returning any of these kisses, not with Hanni teasing her cock through her underwear. She’s never gotten hard this fast before, she’s impressed. Minji leans her head back to close her eyes and whimper shamelessly. 

Hanni goes straight for Minji's neck with kisses that are more teeth and tongue than lip. Minji doesn’t have to worry about hickeys, and Hanni’s biting and sucking like she already knows. Truthfully, she doesn’t care. If she had a branding iron she’d probably use it on Minji’s face too, this girl is hers. Everyone else can go find their own emo girl with a big dick.

When Hanni pulls away from Minji’s neck, it’s shocking there’s no blood anywhere. She giggles, she can’t believe how cute and servile this girl is. Minji gets a chaste kiss for being a loser, then Hanni finally frees her pretty cock, big and hard, from the suffocating fabric. Hanni looks down to gauge her dick, and she can’t wait to devour it. Such a pleasant surprise, really. It's nicely groomed and cut. Are her parents religious? Hanni ponders. Their daughter’s going to Hell for fucking girls she just met. She almost laughed and ruined the moment, that was thinking way too far.

Hanni gives a wide lick from the base of her palm to her fingertips and starts to stroke Minji slowly. The first insistent touches were making her lose her mind. The grip is tight and she can’t resist jerking her hips to fuck Hanni’s fist, moaning and desperate. It’s not enough for her, but it’s going in the direction she wants it to. She’s too tired and drunk to do any of the fucking, all she wants is to lay there while Hanni does whatever she wants with her.

Really, Hanni doesn’t mean to tease Minji like this, but she’s doing a bit of stalling. She’s never sucked dick before, she just hopes she doesn’t scrape any teeth. Is it even possible to take all of that down her throat? Well, she won’t know if she doesn’t try. 

Hanni got Minji out of her t-shirt, tossed it aside and gave some wet kisses to her shoulders, rough caresses over her bra, and finally, those silly boxers were flung to the floor. She got up and told Minji to sit on the edge of the bed so she could kneel on the floor, positioned between her thighs.

“Hey, keep still or I’ll bite you,” Hanni warns. She’s not serious about the biting part but she can’t handle it if Minji starts facefucking her, she’s not built for that yet. Whether the promise is serious or not, Minji agrees to obey. Hanni didn’t make out her response, it just sounded like a bunch of whiny submissive nonsense. It made her blush.

Hanni gathers saliva and spits on the head of the dick, smearing it with the precum up and down the shaft, and gives the tip a kiss before opening wide and taking as much as she can. Minji’s fingers tangle tightly in her hair, not even bothering to hold it back to make things easier for her. The needy pulls and pushes against her scalp guide Hanni exactly where Minji wants her, and she’s getting more comfortable taking it deeper. Her hands work the length she can’t swallow, and she knows it feels so good for Minji from the way she can barely speak, all Hanni can hear is fuck and please.

The only sounds in the room were the hum of the air conditioner, the occasional shifts of the bedsheets and the sex, but Minji wondered if the aircon was even working. Her entire body felt so hot, she was so weak from drinking and her skin tingled. Even without Hanni’s kiss, her lips still burned and she couldn’t feel her face at all. It’s way too hard to breathe. 

Minji’s so close. She’s biting her knuckle to shut herself up, and the eye contact is making her feel at mercy. The light breaths from Hanni’s nostrils on her skin, the sounds of lips and tongue on her cock, the way Hanni moans when she takes it deeper, her gagging, it’s taking so much self control to not to thrust the last inch or two down her throat.

Hanni feels the burn in her jaw, tears in her eyes, the ache in her knees from the floor, but her throat is thoroughly enjoying the stretch and choke. She didn’t even know that was a thing, this was way more fun than it should be. Minji’s cursing and groaning made her heart skip beats, she might actually flatline and die with all these inches down her throat.

Hanni slides Minji’s cock out her mouth and takes a moment to catch herself. She doesn’t want to let Minji cum so soon, there’s still more things she wants to do. Hanni stands up and Minji embraces her with a deep kiss, moaning at the taste of herself on Hanni’s tongue. Light fingers caress Minji by the nape of her neck and the other arm wraps around her strong shoulders. Hanni feels so tiny against Minji, being held so tight in her arms.

Hanni asked Minji to lay back against the headboard again, and they’re in the same position as when they started. 

Minji pulls Hanni flush against her with harsh hands on her waist. The skin-on-skin contact feels like a fever. Hanni throws her head back to let Minji kiss all over her jaw and neck and collarbones. She’s trying her best to be quiet because all of Minji’s friends and Janet are downstairs, but she can feel Minji’s big hands exploring her body, overwhelming her; one hand fondling her breast underneath her top and the other is pulling her thong to the side. Minji’s middle finger slips inside of Hanni nicely, just up to the first knuckle for now. The way Hanni moans in relief makes her dick twitch, she can’t wait to hear more of her when she’s full of cock. She’s genuinely amazed at how wet and tight she is, the rest goes in with no effort. 

Hanni took two languid fingers and let Minji rub her clit with her thumb ‘til it hurt from overstimulation. Minji loved touching her, especially since she was shaven smooth, like a pearl—but not too much on the fingering, Minji’s still painfully hard, she just wants to make sure it won’t hurt.

Fucking finally, the condom comes out of the wrapper. Minji wets her cock with her fingers covered in slick before letting Hanni do the honours of sliding the rubber down her shaft, she groans at the touch. 

“You sure?” Minji asks, panting slowly, seeking permission.

Hanni wonders why it’s even a question, of course she’s sure! She sets her hands on Minji’s shoulders and gives her a soft kiss to the temple, she can’t resist rewarding her for being such a sweet girl.

“Of course, just.. let me take my time, okay?” Hanni pleads.

Minji nods. “Mhm, yeah.”

More than nervous, Hanni looks excited. She loves how pretty Minji looks when she’s about to get fucked. She’s much more beautiful than Hanni imagined in all of her sick gay fantasies, with her neck red from her kisses and bites. Her eyes are so pretty, too. Hanni doesn’t even feel like a slut doing this, Minji’s looking at her so innocently. She only feels beautiful and adored. Also, she never imagined Minji to be this subdued, she figured she’d have her face buried in a pillow with her mascara running by now. But this is wonderful. 

Minji lines herself up with Hanni’s entrance and watches her sink onto the tip. They both moan at the feeling, the anticipation makes them dizzy. She wishes she could slam her hips upward and make Hanni take the rest of her hard dick right now but she won’t. Hanni’s incredibly impatient as well; she considered just dropping her weight and bottoming out, but she’d like to be able to walk in the morning. So she chooses to slowly work her way down.

Minji pushes Hanni’s top over her chest and blushes, she can’t believe how perfect she is. It wouldn’t be her first time with a Los Santos girl, but Hanni seemed different—she wasn’t some slut at a party that wanted her in bed all night and gone by the morning. Well, she hopes not. Thing is, they actually had a few conversations before they got here. In other cases, she gets handed a red cup and dragged into the bathroom or parking lot.

The open-mouthed kisses and gentle bites on her breasts encourage Hanni to sink deeper, even if the stretch aches. It feels so good to be hurt this way, the pain soothes. She can’t see through her teary eyes, Minji’s hands are hurting her hip bones from holding on so tightly. She feels so weak, so malleable. But Minji doesn’t rush her, even if it feels nothing but torturous for her to only be halfway in, unmoving.

“Does it hurt?” Minji whispers against Hanni’s ear. 

Stupid question, Hanni thinks. Of course it does. 

“Mhm,” she whines.

Minji kisses against her neck and ear through her hair and breathes in her shampoo, her sweat, everything. “I’m sorry.” She uselessly apologises. 

Hanni doesn’t answer. She just braces herself and takes the rest. It makes them both groan and hold each other tighter.

Minji helps Hanni find a steady pace to ride, every roll of her hips draws out the sweetest sounds from them both. She was mesmerised when she glanced down to watch her dick disappear inside Hanni. She’s so obsessed with her right now. The way her eyes squeeze shut, the tears on her cheeks, the struggle on her face from trying to ride steady and keep quiet, the bounce of her breasts, the way she can’t keep her jaw closed, her soft stomach and complexion, she’s such a fucking masterpiece. Minji prays this isn’t a one night thing.

Hanni swears to God Minji shifted her womb or something. There’s no way her body is just supposed to be able to handle all this dick. Minji’s tip keeps knocking on her cervix like an annoying Jehovah’s Witness, it’s making her cry and sob. She can already feel an emotional dependency developing between her and Minji’s dick. She'll do anything for this to be a regular thing, it doesn't matter what happens in the future. She’ll go to prison, war and Hell for this dick. Anything. Doesn’t matter where it’s been. It’s hers now.

All of a sudden, Minji’s shuddering and heaving hard like she just surfaced from drowning.

“W-wait. Stop.” Minji begs, breathless and exhausted. 

Hanni’s immediately upset but she does as told. She doesn’t get off it, just keeps her hips still. Seriously? She was so close too. Maybe Minji just wants to torture her.

“I came,” Minji admits, shameful. 

“What?” Hanni’s confused. Well, she wasn’t paying much attention anymore. The only thing her body knew was that she had dick all in her stomach and her knees hurt from bouncing on it.

Minji’s so dazed, red and embarrassed she can’t speak, so Hanni doesn’t press for an answer. 

“Listen, I was so close, just a little bit more, please?” Hanni pleads, looking like her life is about to be over.

Minji’s clearly so fucked out and ready to fall asleep but she gives a nod and she means it. Hanni can do whatever she wants to her, she doesn’t seem to mind.

Hanni smiles and starts kissing Minji hard, just abusing her mouth and sensitive cock to push herself over the edge. The cruel treatment is driving Minji insane, she’s never, ever been handled this way before. She feels like she just found a new calling in life. Now it’s like every girl she’s slept with before fucked her all wrong.

Minji’s hands are still guiding Hanni’s hips, her fingers are twitching so badly, it’s just too much . Her grunts sound so pained, but Hanni’s in love with them, holding onto her throat so tight she has Minji light-headed.

The final stroke was fast and rough, Hanni cried in the crook of Minji’s neck, felt her heart exploding and her hips seizing hard. Her walls clamped down around Minji so tight it made her eyes flood with tears, and her body strained out all there was to give into the condom. It’s over now. Almost.

Hanni shakily removed herself from Minji and reached for her cock one last time, to carefully remove the condom without making a mess. She made sure Minji’s eyes were on her, she brought the ring to her lips and squeezed all of cum out like it was a pack of Gogurt. 

Minji’s jaw dropped, she didn’t know if she was disgusted, flattered, aroused or all of the above.

Hanni savoured the taste on her tongue but did not swallow. Minji looked afraid, she saw Hanni coming closer. Their torsos were flush, and Hanni lifted Minji’s chin to her lips. She gave Minji very, very soft pats on the cheek, like gentle slaps. Open up. 

Oh God, Minji worried, but followed instructions. So obedient. 

Hanni spat Minji’s semen into her own mouth and covered her lips with the palm of her hand. Swallow, she ordered. 

She removed her hand when she saw Minji gulp it down, and smiled so proudly. God, she’s so perfect, Hanni thinks. Minji feels about the same.

Hanni fell asleep in Minji’s arms, taking up her half of the bed and most of the blanket. So no, Minji did not get the comfortable sleep she wanted, but that’s okay.

Chapter Text

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock, Knock, Knock. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

“HEY, WHAT THE FUCK. ARE YOU GUYS DEAD IN THERE? WAKE UP!” Chaewon yells in Korean from the other side of the door, hitting it with the heel of her hand. She hasn’t heard even a shift from inside the bedroom.

The noise slowly wakes Hanni, her eyelids are too heavy to open. She groans, now she’s aware of the throbbing headache and empty pain in her stomach. 

“Dude, what if they committed murder-suicide.” Winter whispers outside the door. She flinches as Chaewon’s elbow flies towards her rib and yelps like a dog from the pain.

“I told you to stop watching those video essays about those schizo-satanic metal bands!” Chaewon shakes her head at Winter and rubs the spot she hit, it wasn’t meant to hurt.

The sunlight cutting through the window feels warm on Hanni’s eyelids, as well as the long legs tangled with hers. She’s slowly realising where she is. Her eyes open and her heart rate picks up fast, everything from last night is coming back in fragments. Seeing Minji’s sleeping face inches away made her smile, she felt incredibly proud of herself. Having to wake her sweetheart right now made her feel awful, since she’s such a cute sleeper, but there’s still incessant pounding on the door. Hanni uncovers herself from the blanket and sees that she’s not wearing all of her clothes, and the air conditioning is biting her skin. She swallows hard when she realises Minji’s still naked under the blanket, save for her bra. She can’t open the door like this.

“Hey, wake up,” Hanni says softly to sleeping Minji, shaking her arm and patting her cheek.

“No, tired.” Minji mutters, half awake with her eyes closed, and rolls over on the other side, taking the rest of the blanket with her. Her body felt heavy like it did last night, the mattress was holding her hostage.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.  

“I HEARD A KNOCK UPON MY DOOR THE OTHER DAY!” Kazuha joins in outside, singing a rock song she got into recently. Her friends hated that band so fucking much. Winter told her to shut up and sing better music instead.

The disturbance outside is finally annoying enough to get Minji out of bed. She looks around the room. Her tired eyes ache seeing the sunlight bouncing off the walls and she’s incredibly nauseous. Goosebumps form on her arms and stomach, the coldness informs her she’s not wearing pants. Where are we? Oh right, we’re upstairs from that bar. The pretty girl sitting on the bed, staring and admiring, made her face warm as she put on her clothes that were scattered beside the bed. Holy shit, it’s the girl from the diner last night. Oh. Oh my God, we had sex. Minji’s cherry red with embarrassment, for a second she forgot Hanni’s name. They said nothing while they took account of the mess they left on the other’s skin, blushing and unaware of their own. It doesn’t matter what they do now, it’s obvious they were getting it on last night. Minji didn’t leave any marks on Hanni’s neck, but she did not spare her chest. Unfortunately, Hanni’s top didn’t cover half of them. Even her hips are mildly bruised from being held so tight, and those low rise shorts conceal nothing.

“Why’d we leave Minji with the keys for the van, we should’ve just left her here.” Winter grumbles.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Minji goes over to open the door. 

“Good morning everyone.” Minji yawns and stretches, and all three of the wakeup crew look at her like she just stabbed someone.

“Woah, you guys not happy to see me?” Minji frowns as she leans against the doorframe.

Chaewon clears her throat.

“Dude, you’re actually a slut. It’s kind of disgusting.” Winter says, eyeing her rudely. It’s just a joke, she doesn’t actually care. But she’s still grossed out, because it’s Minji.

“Huh?” Minji gasps. She’s thinking that they must’ve heard something last night, because she hasn’t seen herself in a mirror yet.

Chaewon cuts the conversation, they can ask questions later. “Tell your girlfriend we have to go, it’s almost 3 in the evening.”

“What? Huh?” Minji’s confused as hell, she can’t believe she slept for that long because it barely felt like anything. Her dream was short, she was back in Chuncheon helping her mother cut carrots she did not like for soup and when she ate at the table she put them in her brother’s bowl.

“We overslept, let’s just go,” Kazuha says. “Also, Sakura told us you have the keys for the van. Hand it over, she’s waiting downstairs with food for us.”

Hanni eavesdropped while she folded the blanket and neatened up the bed. Hearing the time made her want to puke, she figures her parents are worried sick. She found the dirty condom from last night in the sheets and because she likes Minji so much, she seriously considered putting it in her mouth and chewing it like gum, just to taste her again. She couldn’t just waltz past all of Minji’s friends to throw it away either, so she shoved it in her pocket.

The wakeup crew left to wait in the van. Minji and Hanni followed a minute behind them after gathering their things, exchanging shy glances throughout. From the top of the stairs the State Prison was visible, as well as drying mountain ranges all around and endless sand that hurt to see in the daylight. The backyard of Yellow Jack Inn was full of strange metal clutter, a massive tank of gas and a small rusty trailer home, probably where Janet sleeps, if ever. 

Hanni stopped by the bar downstairs to buy a shot of vodka to swish around in lieu of mouthwash before hitting the road. She figured she’d vomit up the drink if she downed it so she spat it at the ground in the parking lot.

Minji found the bathroom to wash her hands and face. Her reflection in the mirror caught her way off guard, she looked like a battery victim. The hickeys are purple, all over her neck and collar, with literal bite marks on her throat and some red scratches. Her own gaze embarrassed her. She imagined what her family would think if they saw her and felt sick. Hanni’s literally a fucking cannibal, what the hell? She whined to herself. Parts of her neck hurt to the touch, a light pass of fingertips felt like teeth and nails. 

The drive home is bittersweet for Hanni. Just like last night, she shared the back of the van with Minji. There was light rain coming up the Los Santos freeway and she ate her box of the chicken sandwich and fries Sakura bought for everyone. Her serving became the garbage disposal for all the lettuce and pickles Minji didn’t want. Hanni couldn’t believe how much of a picky eater that girl is. Naturally, she took the avenue for conversation and asked Minji a whole bunch of questions about it. Minji spoke of the food in Korea, her mother’s heavy-handed cooking, the shops she’d eat at and the people that worked and dined there. Her excited storytelling was all over the place and hard to follow, but Hanni was attentive and asked many questions to ensure she was on track. The way Minji spoke with her hands made Hanni smitten, she felt like Minji filled every space she was in to the brim with vigour. To Hanni, Minji’s face begged many questions. She wished to know what she thought of in the day and dreamt of at night. Hanni wanted the conversation to remain intact in her mind long after. Her heart hurts knowing she’ll soon be home and away from Minji. She loved the mild Korean lilt to Minji’s English. The way she pronounced the letter T so strongly contradicted her relatively American vowels, it made her voice hard to forget. Those little quirks weren’t apparent in Minji’s music, she sounded plain ol’ Los Santos when she sang.

Hanni didn’t get to stick around with Minji the entire ride. Sakura asked her to swap seats with Chaewon in front so Hanni could give directions to take her home. When Hanni said she lived in Vinewood, they expected a penthouse or mansion. But no, there was just a sad apartment building on an upward street with dying palm trees. Hanni explained that there was a wild difference between Vinewood and Vinewood Hills. Everyone from Vinewood Hills is a dying celebrity and everyone from Vinewood is dying to be a celebrity.

Minji crawled out of the van to walk Hanni through the front and up the stairs to the apartment door. Hanni’s hoodie was zipped all the way to conceal last night’s activities. No way to hide the shorts, she’ll just have to deal with it if it’s a problem.

“Wait, before you go. Can I have your number?” Minji asks, tapping her pointer fingers against each other, shy for no reason.

Hanni blushes behind her hand. She can’t process when Minji does anything silly like that, she had no idea she’d ever be that way. Before, she imagined Minji to act like fuckboy Zayn Malik from the fanfictions she forces Yunjin to read. She expected charisma and charm and confidence, and while they’re very much there, it’s only a fraction of Minji. It seems Minji’s a bit of a big baby. 

“Yes,” Hanni smiles. She fishes her phone from her pocket and it’s dead. “Um, hold on.” Hanni opens her front door to look for pen and paper and instead it’s Mama Pham, sweeping the space that is both the kitchen and living room.

“Hanni, where were you?!” Mama Pham stops sweeping and the broomstick falls. She isn’t angry but she is loud. She was worried because Hanni missed all of her calls and when she rang Yunjin, she wasn’t at home and had no idea about Hanni’s whereabouts.

“I slept at Yunjin’s place, ma.” Hanni answers, not trying to feed into this conversation just yet because she needs to write her number down for Minji. But her mother’s eyes kept her pinned right at the doorway.

“Well, I called Yunjin around lunch while your phone was off and she said she didn’t know where you were because she’s with Eunchae.” Mama Pham says. She picks up that her daughter’s lying, and it worries her because she has never given the girl a reason to. She’s quite tolerant of Hanni’s partying and sleeping out, as long as Yunjin is there to look out for her. 

“Huh? I was at Yunjin’s place, and she left me sleeping in her bed.” Hanni lies.

“Well you slept pretty darn late, don’t you think.” Mama Pham walks closer and Hanni absolutely reeks of alcohol. “Have you been drinking?”

Well, Hanni can’t lie about this one. “Yeah, we were celebrating Taylor Swift’s VMA win.”

“You’re drinking for fucking Taylor Swift? Are you crazy?” Mama Pham returns to pick the broom back up and starts sweeping, shaking her head. 

Minji’s been listening nervously. She knows that an upset mother is like an unskippable cutscene, but she has her friends waiting in the van. She hopes this won’t get Hanni in trouble—she pulls open the front door.

“Hi, Miss”—Minji pauses, she doesn’t know Hanni’s surname—“Hi, Hanni’s mom,” she smiles politely and bows her head before stepping in, a habit she left in Korea, and she felt silly for doing it here.

“You’re the one Hanni was with last night? I don’t believe I’ve met you before.” Mama Pham took in Minji’s pretty and unfamiliar face, trying to figure out who the hell this is. Looking out for Hanni is already a piece of work on its own, she only imagines how troublesome it must be for this girl’s parents, having such a stunning daughter. Mama Pham stops imagining when she takes notice of the hickeys and bites on the girl’s neck. My God, she looks way too young for those! Is her boyfriend a vampire? Where are her parents?! Mama Pham prayed that Hanni never walks through her front door looking that way. She refrains from mentioning it, but there’s a scorn in her head and she’s already marked this one as spoiled goods. Now she needs to hear why this cheap girl is in her home.

“Oh, uh, we haven’t met before,” Minji starts nervously, she felt like Hanni’s mother was strangling her with her eyes and she doesn’t know why. “I’m Minji, Yunjin’s friend. I gave Hanni a ride home. I was looking for Yunjin, but she wasn’t there and I saw Hanni sleeping in the bedroom so I woke her up and asked her if Yunjin was coming home any time soon and she didn’t know where Yunjin went so I asked her if she wanted a ride home and she said yeah.” Minji felt like she was in trouble too. She hoped that lie made sense because she doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about.

Hanni tries not to smile, she thinks it’s so sweet that Minji cares enough to step in and lie. She already feels indebted. Yeah, she for sure gave me a ride , Hanni jokes in her mind, remembering last night.

“You’re Yunjin’s friend?” Mama Pham asks, convinced. Now she just assumes Hanni’s been hanging around this girl whenever she goes out with Yunjin and it makes her soul sigh. Absolutely no good vibes coming from this one, with her ripped skinny jeans and dirty, old shoes.

Minji nods, relieved that no other questions were asked.

Mama Pham went back to sweeping, humming a song Minji recognised but couldn’t put a finger on. She swayed lightly with the broom and didn’t seem upset at all. Hanni looked like she was fine as well.

“Thank you.” Hanni whispered to Minji and she got a sheepish grin in return. “Wait here,” She told her while kicking her boots off and running to her room for a pen.

Minji took a few seconds to gaze around the apartment. Now that she wasn’t on the spot, she felt cosy. A few potted plants are sitting around, and smaller variants of them are on shelves and the kitchen counter. The walls are cream and the floor is rosewood. Pops of warm colours came from rugs, paintings, family photos and magnets on the fridge. It’s really, really nice here. It smells like a bakery as well. She feels happy for Hanni, it seems the girl is just as pleasant as her household.

Hanni comes around the corner sliding on her socks with a pen in hand, chased by two thrilled miniature poodles, and Minji squeals with excitement at them. The dogs look at Minji and begin to bark and she starts backing up through the doorway.

“They don’t bite! Stay there.” Hanni laughs as she steps closer to Minji. The dogs kept jumping at her, then went over to sniff Minji’s legs.

Minji smiles at Hanni, then looks down at the poodles. “Hi puppies! What’s your name?” She crouched down to pet them with a smile so wide her cheeks hurt.

“The white one’s Milly and the other one’s Mia!” Hanni spoke delightedly while she stooped to take Minji’s hand. She wrote her name and number in Minji’s palm and tugged on her pinky before she let go.

“I love them! They’re very cute, much like the owner.” Minji says sincerely and Hanni looks at her, blushing madly.

“Alright, alright. Go home, Kim Minji.” Hanni sighs into a content smile. She misses Minji already.

“Okay, I’ll call or text you when I’m not busy. Thank you for coming along, I had fun.” Minji says, her face was cool and pleased.

Hanni tells her bye-bye, and Minji’s out the door. She ran to her room to wave bye through the window as well, but Minji didn’t notice. Her hand was gentle against the glass, watching the van disappear down the street.

Tonight, Hanni relaxes in bed. She’s so sleepy after her shower and dinner and all she can think about is Minji. Earlier, she was undressing in the bathroom and she felt the condom in her pocket. She took it out and by then it was crunchy, but she found it to be a cute reminder of Minji, like a feather dropped from her angel wings. Unfortunately, she couldn’t keep it or throw it in the bin because she’d get killed if her parents discovered it, so she climbed on the toilet seat and let the city wind take it through the bathroom window. She felt like she was throwing the ashes of a loved one to the ocean.

In bed, the sheets feel so comfortable against her skin. The room is cold but beneath the blanket is warm. She’s had Sleepless In September’s small discography on loop for some hours now, listening from her iPod through wired headphones that only work at an angle. Minji’s voice hits so different. In her mind, the girl that kissed and deflowered her last night wasn’t the same one singing right now, or the one she watched perform in that warehouse. It still hasn’t digested in her system. She’s sad nobody took photos last night either, she wanted to remember everything from that night forever. Every notification from her phone made her upset when she’d check and see that it wasn’t from Minji. Thinking of anything other than her sweetheart girl made her sick. Hanni can’t wait to be with her again.

Hanni’s phone rings.

She frantically sweeps her arms between the covers and finds it, she squints to read the caller ID: PIMP DADDY YJ

“FUCK!” Hanni shouts and kicks the blanket angrily before swiping to answer.

“Hey, Yunjin.”

The conversation lasted around an hour. First, Hanni interrogated Yunjin about her talk on the phone with her mother, ready to snap at any stupid answers. She threw endless questions at Yunjin, like: Why’d you say you have to take Eunchae to school in the morning, it was a Friday night in the summer?! After Yunjin explained herself, Hanni felt bad for being so rude. Yunjin said that Eunchae’s school has summer classes on weekends, and she forgot all about lying for Hanni because she was at the hospital with her sister. A teacher’s car reversed straight over Eunchae in the school parking lot and broke her left leg, bruised her ribs. Nothing life threatening, she’ll just need crutches and a cast for a while. Yunjin said her parents were at the police station all day getting things sorted out. Hanni felt bad, truly. Eunchae is like her sister as well, she wished the driver responsible got sent to prison and killed in there for hurting the literal nicest girl in the world. 

After Yunjin got her stories out of the way, she was beyond curious to know about Hanni’s night out with Sleepless In September. Hanni shared all the details and spared nothing. Yunjin didn’t mind, she knows no boundaries in her own storytelling as well. Hanni talked about the lake, Minji’s Minecraft boxers, Minji’s murder attempt on Winter, the drinking, the shitty motel and bar in the middle of the desert and finally, how wonderful it was, hooking up with Minji. She promised Minji was to die for.

Yunjin wanted to doubt everything she’d heard—hearing such things from crazy delusional fangirl Hanni sounded made up—but she knows, like a two-ended blade, Hanni is beautiful and confident just as much as she is all those other weird things. It can really only work in her favour.

In the morning, Hanni’s first thought was Minji. She checked her phone and nothing new was there. It disappointed her in a way that hurt and made her overthink. She stayed in bed for an extra hour after waking up, scrolling through Minji’s Twitter and Instagram. Nothing new there either. She got caught up smiling at the same old photos and tweets, missing her sweetheart more than ever. When she got out of bed, she needed a distraction and fast. After her morning routine, she sat in her room on the bean bag, strumming the electric guitar her father gifted her last Christmas. Its body looked classic, it wasn’t hard to imagine in the hands of someone like Elvis. She’s trying to teach herself this Sleepless In September song, titled pharmacy girl and razor boy. The lyrics barely sounded like anything through the distortion but Hanni has them committed to memory through countless listens. She sings as beguilingly Minji does. The riff wasn’t simple but it was easy for her practised hands to pick up. Still, her playing didn’t feel the same. Without all of the pedals and layered effects in the original music, it lacked loneliness and ambience.

Lunch time came around and Hanni’s parents weren't home so she chose to be lazy and ordered delivery pizza for herself. She watched Jersey Shore for hours, and still nothing from Minji. She gave Yunjin a call and asked if they could go see Eunchae before visiting hours closed at the hospital. They agreed on it, so Hanni prepared the borrowed clothes washed by her mother in the morning and put them in a bag. Yunjin picked her up and they stopped by Rockford Plaza to buy some flowers, a pack of McCain smiley potatoes and a Cinnamoroll plushie from the Sanrio store. At the hospital, Eunchae was asleep in her bed and Yunjin didn’t think it was appropriate to wake her. Her heart broke for her little sister, she wished for her to be at home playing video games like she usually does. Eunchae is also part of her school’s basketball team and they had no idea if she’d be able to compete like normal after her recovery. Yunjin wished it was her instead, she doesn’t do anything with her life other than party and lay on her back for skater boys and alt girls. They both wrote a get-well-soon letter for Eunchae with lots of cute doodles and put it together with their gifts. 

The rest of their day was spent listening to R&B while Yunjin drove around Vinewood Hills. All the mansions and sports cars on the winding streets made them feel broke and lame, but chill Sunday evenings like this were reasons to live for them both. Hanni was still riding the high from being around Minji, and she truly appreciated everything she was seeing and feeling. The orange and pink in the sky felt more saturated, the air conditioning felt so chill and comfortable and Yunjin looked prettier too, in her Los Santos Panic basketball jersey and shorts. Every song that played felt like the first listen, even though they’re tried and true to them both. Other drivers seemed to speed up whenever their car rolled past, like they were afraid of being stopped and robbed.

There’s a lookout on the side of the road below the Vinewood sign, further down the mountain. Yunjin pulled aside and parked in the dirt there. She sat with Hanni on a guard rail near the cliff’s edge, a few feet from a death drop into the Vinewood Bowl, famous amphitheatre. Hanni doesn’t smoke, but she wished she had a cigarette. The vibe was perfect to do so, and missing Minji made her itch for substances. She watched the sunset with Yunjin, they talked and laughed until all the city lights were on. Showing love for one another was so easy to them, all they had to do was make time to spend together. Neither were very vocally affectionate, but their warm embraces and gift-giving said what was already implied. Hanni had to work Monday to Thursday in the upcoming week, so they planned their schedule around it. Hanni mentioned that she’s supposed to go out with Minji on Friday, and Yunjin jokingly asked to tag along. Potentially, they’ll hit the club on Saturday. On Sunday, they’ll go out with Danielle and see if they can bring some other friends along as well.

Yunjin took Hanni home and walked her up the stairs just to see if her mother made dinner. Mama Pham was cooking creamy pasta with spicy shrimp, and there was no way Yunjin would go home without a plate. Papa Pham rushed to Hanni and gave her a big hug, he hadn’t seen his daughter since Friday morning. Hanni tiptoed into a forehead kiss and smiled.

Sometimes, Yunjin felt just like Hanni’s sister, especially now when she’s sitting at the same table as her parents, talking and laughing over dinner. The only time Yunjin wasn’t a sister to Hanni was when the drinks at the club started tasting like kissing girls. And it’s been a while since they’ve done anything like that, maybe five months. It never went far and it meant nothing other than fun. After dinner, Hanni offered to wash the dishes and her parents went to their room to watch TV.

At almost midnight, Hanni’s asleep in bed and Minji calls. She woke up and took the call from the unknown number, expecting no one else.

“Oh my gosh, hi.” Hanni answered, smiling and sitting up in her bed.

On the other end of the line, Minji sat on the kitchen counter at home and spoke softly as to not wake her sleeping housemates. “You sound tired, did I wake you? I’m sorry.” 

Hanni cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder, hugging her knees. “No, I wasn’t sleeping. I was about to, but-”

“Well you can go ahead, I didn’t mean to call so late.” Minji felt bad, but this was the only time she had until tomorrow.

Hanni felt like she’d throw herself out the window and onto the streets if Minji hung up. “Hey, I can give you like, thirty minutes. I gotta go to work in the morning.”

“Okay, that’s fine. How was your day then?” Minji wasn’t terrible at phone calls, but right now she felt like she was lacking some sort of skill. She’s accustomed to calling her family back in South Korea every now and then for long periods, but this is different. There’s no routine to this as yet, it’s completely new.

“My day was super chill. Yunjin’s little sister got ran over so we went to see her in the hospital. We left gifts for her, then we went for a drive and chilled on the roadside in Vinewood Hills and just talked, it was fun.” Hanni really, really wanted to tell Minji how much she wished she was there. She missed her so much.

Minji gasped, Hanni spoke way too casually about her best friend’s sister getting hit by a car. “Hanni, that’s awful. Are you okay? How’s your friend doing?”

“We’re fine.” Hanni sighs. “I just hope that stupid ass driver actually dies or goes to jail or something. What a fucking moron. He’s a teacher too, y’know? Should get his licence revoked, no way someone that stupid should be allowed around children. Eunchae’s such a good kid too! She plays basketball and she’s like, better than Lebron James. I’m telling you. Two more years and she’ll be in the NBA. And I’m not talking the WNBA, I mean she’ll be on the court with Steph Curry and she’ll fucking dunk on his ass.”

Minji laughed quietly, covering her mouth. “Wow, that’s fucked up. We should jump that guy, seriously.” She jokes. “I hope Eunchae gets better soon, she’ll be the pride of Los Santos and Korea someday.”

“She will, I believe in her.” Hanni nodded. Then she asked Minji what she’s been up to.

Yesterday evening after they took Hanni home, everyone forgot they were supposed to return Sakura’s rental guitar. Minji covered the hefty late fee, on top of the cost to fix Sakura’s broken one. This morning, Minji got to work, opened up the restaurant at 7AM and clocked out at 4PM. On most days she cooks, on rare busy days she has to do waitressing as well. It was one of those days. And such days are her favourite, because she makes around 600 bucks in tips. She thought it was just a regular American thing, until her coworkers promised her she only gets that much because she’s gorgeous, not because the customers are kindhearted men that want the working class to survive. To Minji, there are no complaints to be made when easy money is involved. On multiple occasions she’s asked her boss to let her only do waitressing, but he refuses every time because her cooking is sublime; he’s positive she’s the reason why his branch of the S Ho Korean Noodle House, despite being the dingiest, does as well as as the most upmarket one in the city.

As soon as Minji got home, she hit the shower, got dressed, ate a can of Chef Boyardee and sat down with the band, writing lyrics to a riff Chaewon and Sakura wrote with Kazuha. In a couple hours, they put together a demo. It was different. They tuned their guitars down, played slow, respite verses and a crashing, melancholic chorus. Minji took her time, singing low and breathily, like bearing a murder confession to the microphone. She wrote the lyrics with Winter (who it may serve as a reminder, has been into horror and obscurity recently) and they created a concept that they could stretch into multiple songs, maybe even an album. Minji’s first drabbles were suggestive but not boldly sexual. It read more like bloodsport and obsession between lovers than it did sex, and Winter rolled with it. Still, the lyrics were not ugly. She channelled Chino Moreno, the way he’d sing at his most gentle, and his words at their most grotesque. For now, the track was titled as “bedroom cadaver”.

Over the phone, Minji was generous about her day at work and reserved about the music. All Hanni gathered was that a new song was on the way, they spent a long time on it and she should be excited for it. 

Minji asked Hanni if they could hang out after work tomorrow. Hanni was very much taken by surprise, because she didn’t expect to see Minji until Friday. Of course she obliged, and the call ended there. 

Minji fell asleep on her living room couch.

Hanni fell asleep in her bed.

Minji dreamt of Hanni.

Hanni dreamt of Minji.